{"id":3200,"date":"2015-01-18T18:09:40","date_gmt":"2015-01-18T16:09:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3200"},"modified":"2015-01-18T18:09:40","modified_gmt":"2015-01-18T16:09:40","slug":"how-i-used-my-new-box-of-shells","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3200","title":{"rendered":"How I Used My New Box of Shells"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Shot #1 &#8212; Missed target completely at 100 yards. Rifle needed scope adjusted.<\/li>\n<li>Shot #2 &#8212; Hit target in lower right-hand corner&#8211;from 10 yards.<\/li>\n<li>Shot #3 &#8212; Bull&#8217;s-eye&#8211;after getting rifle back from gunsmith who sighted it in.<\/li>\n<li>Shot #4 &#8212; Accidentally pulled trigger while loading rifle in vehicle, will repair transmission when I get home.<\/li>\n<li>Shot #5 &#8212; Fired into air to signal start of drive. Fined $200 by game warden for killing a turkey.<\/li>\n<li>Shot #6 &#8212; The excitement of seeing my first deer caused me to fire before rifle was to my shoulder&#8211; I only had to replace left boot.<\/li>\n<li>Shot #7 &#8212; Missed deer completely, not so sure about cow across the field.<\/li>\n<li>Shot #8 &#8212; To clean mud from barrel after falling over cliff while being chased by farmer. Now I&#8217;m sure about cow.<\/li>\n<li>Shot #9 &#8212; Slipped and fell while crossing stream. Buddy says I&#8217;ll have to replace his hunting cap and also pay for having his underwear washed.<\/li>\n<li>Shot #10 &#8212; Forgot can opener. Opened a can of pork and beans. The few beans that were left tasted too much like gunpowder to eat them.<\/li>\n<li>Shot #11 &#8212; Shot too low at deer, glanced off rock and wounded a chipmunk.<\/li>\n<li>Shot #12 &#8212; Finished off wounded chipmunk.<\/li>\n<li>Shot #13 &#8212; Checked scope again, hit big bucket hanging on pole. Hope people get electricity back soon.<\/li>\n<li>Shot #14 &#8212; At deer moving through brush, I&#8217;d never heard some of the words that it used.<\/li>\n<li>Shot #15 &#8212; To check scope again after being hit on the head with my own rifle.<\/li>\n<li>Shot #16 &#8212; Knocked buck down but didn&#8217;t go to claim it when game warden tried to arrest a nearby hunter for killing a doe.<\/li>\n<li>Shot #17 &#8212; Gun accidentally fired while dragging it under fence. Have to replace right boot now.<\/li>\n<li>Shot #18 &#8212; Won a $1.00 bet from buddy who said I couldn&#8217;t hit a junked car on other hill. Hot radiators sure do make a lot of steam.<\/li>\n<li>Shot #19 &#8212; Killed running buck with 3-inch spike at 625 yards. It takes skill to be a good hunter.<\/li>\n<li>Shot #20 &#8212; Save till I get home and use it on a mouse in my pantry.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Shot #1 &#8212; Missed target completely at 100 yards. Rifle needed scope adjusted. Shot #2 &#8212; Hit target in lower right-hand corner&#8211;from 10 yards. Shot #3 &#8212; Bull&#8217;s-eye&#8211;after getting rifle back from gunsmith who sighted it in. Shot #4 &#8212; Accidentally pulled trigger while loading rifle in vehicle, will repair transmission when I get home. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[45],"tags":[819,1314],"class_list":["post-3200","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-outdoors","tag-hunting","tag-shells"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3200","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3200"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3200\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3200"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3200"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3200"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}