{"id":3148,"date":"2015-01-18T17:23:07","date_gmt":"2015-01-18T15:23:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3148"},"modified":"2015-01-18T17:23:07","modified_gmt":"2015-01-18T15:23:07","slug":"signs-youre-at-a-bad-national-park","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3148","title":{"rendered":"Signs You&#8217;re at a Bad National Park"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>The only pictures Ansel Adams took of it were from inside the women&#8217;s shower.<\/li>\n<li>Joe Camel subbing for vacationing Smokey the Bear.<\/li>\n<li>Extremely troubled Head Ranger who blames anything that goes wrong on Scott Baio.<\/li>\n<li>A $20 cover and you still gotta pay extra for the lap dances.<\/li>\n<li>Malnourished bears holding signs that read, &#8220;Will caper amusingly for food.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>According to posted signs, not only may you feed the animals, but afterward, you have a right to expect them to put out.<\/li>\n<li>Pauly Shore&#8217;s face is carved into the side of &#8220;Mount Paymore.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Bears not only take your picnic basket at gunpoint, but also make off with your Ford Explorer.<\/li>\n<li>Your view of the scenery is blocked by reactor units #2 and #3.<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Here we see the oldest mobile home formations in the entire White Trash National Park.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Waterfalls seem to lose some of their majestic power whenever someone flushes a toilet.<\/li>\n<li>Proudly proclaims, &#8220;100 percent Spotted Owl Free!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>When a squirrel runs by, park ranger bolts, screaming, &#8220;Run!! Run for your lives!!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Every couple hundred feet along the hiking trails &#8212; another Starbucks.<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Old Faithful&#8221; turns out to be a vacationing Frank Gifford.<\/li>\n<li>On the tour, you see more of the Grand Crack in the ranger&#8217;s ass than you do of the canyon.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The only pictures Ansel Adams took of it were from inside the women&#8217;s shower. Joe Camel subbing for vacationing Smokey the Bear. Extremely troubled Head Ranger who blames anything that goes wrong on Scott Baio. A $20 cover and you still gotta pay extra for the lap dances. Malnourished bears holding signs that read, &#8220;Will [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[45],"tags":[1056],"class_list":["post-3148","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-outdoors","tag-national-park"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3148","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3148"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3148\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3148"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3148"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3148"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}