{"id":3141,"date":"2015-01-18T14:33:46","date_gmt":"2015-01-18T12:33:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3141"},"modified":"2015-01-18T14:33:46","modified_gmt":"2015-01-18T12:33:46","slug":"veni-vidi-vici","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3141","title":{"rendered":"Veni, Vidi, Vici"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A long time ago, Julius Caesar declared, &#8220;Veni, vidi, vici.&#8221; &#8220;I came, I saw, I conquered.&#8221; His words echoed throughout two millenia. Until one day&#8230;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Monica Lewinsky gushed, &#8220;Orgasmus, slidici, incontinare.&#8221; &#8220;He came, I slipped, it dribbled.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Linda Tripp hissed, &#8220;Verboso, memorex, serpentus.&#8221; &#8220;She told, I taped, I blabbed.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Kenneth Starr cheered, &#8220;Gerministi!  Homonisti! Felonisti!&#8221; &#8220;It matched! It&#8217;s HIS!  I GOT him!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>And Bill Clinton sobbed, &#8220;Perjuratum, erratis, manuro&#8221;. &#8220;I lied &#8211; I mean &#8211; I didn&#8217;t.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A long time ago, Julius Caesar declared, &#8220;Veni, vidi, vici.&#8221; &#8220;I came, I saw, I conquered.&#8221; His words echoed throughout two millenia. Until one day&#8230; Monica Lewinsky gushed, &#8220;Orgasmus, slidici, incontinare.&#8221; &#8220;He came, I slipped, it dribbled.&#8221; Linda Tripp hissed, &#8220;Verboso, memorex, serpentus.&#8221; &#8220;She told, I taped, I blabbed.&#8221; Kenneth Starr cheered, &#8220;Gerministi! Homonisti! Felonisti!&#8221; [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[47],"tags":[234,1031],"class_list":["post-3141","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-politics","tag-bill-clinton","tag-monica-lewinsky"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3141","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3141"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3141\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3141"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3141"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3141"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}