{"id":3093,"date":"2015-01-18T14:01:35","date_gmt":"2015-01-18T12:01:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3093"},"modified":"2015-01-18T14:01:35","modified_gmt":"2015-01-18T12:01:35","slug":"how-to-be-a-good-democrat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3093","title":{"rendered":"How to be a Good Democrat"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Virtually anyone can be a Democrat&#8230; Just simply quit thinking and vote that way! But if you want to be a GOOD Democrat, there are some prerequisites you must have first. Compare the below and see how you rate:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.<\/li>\n<li>You have to believe that the same teacher who can&#8217;t teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.<\/li>\n<li>You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding Americans, are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology, in the hands of Chinese communists.<\/li>\n<li>You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.<\/li>\n<li>You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth&#8217;s climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.<\/li>\n<li>You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.<\/li>\n<li>You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand.<\/li>\n<li>You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.<\/li>\n<li>You have to believe that hunters don&#8217;t care about nature, but loony activists from Seattle do.<\/li>\n<li>You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.<\/li>\n<li>You have to believe the militaries, not corrupt politicians, start wars.<\/li>\n<li>You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain other parts of the Constitution.<\/li>\n<li>You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.<\/li>\n<li>You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinmen are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.<\/li>\n<li>You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren&#8217;t.<\/li>\n<li>You have to believe Hillary Clinton is really a lady.<\/li>\n<li>You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn&#8217;t worked anywhere it&#8217;s been tried, is because the right people haven&#8217;t been in charge.<\/li>\n<li>You have to believe Republicans telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.<\/li>\n<li>You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.<\/li>\n<li>You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Virtually anyone can be a Democrat&#8230; Just simply quit thinking and vote that way! But if you want to be a GOOD Democrat, there are some prerequisites you must have first. Compare the below and see how you rate: You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding. You [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[47],"tags":[496],"class_list":["post-3093","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-politics","tag-democrat"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3093","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3093"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3093\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3093"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3093"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3093"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}