{"id":3089,"date":"2015-01-18T13:59:57","date_gmt":"2015-01-18T11:59:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3089"},"modified":"2015-01-18T13:59:57","modified_gmt":"2015-01-18T11:59:57","slug":"george-w-at-the-pearly-gates","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3089","title":{"rendered":"George W at the Pearly Gates"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, &#8220;You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, &#8220;Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear.  Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity.<\/p>\n<p>Saint Peter is suitably impressed. &#8220;You really ARE Einstein!&#8221; he says. &#8220;Welcome to heaven!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for credentials.<\/p>\n<p>Picasso asks, &#8220;Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Saint Peter says, &#8220;Go ahead.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Picasso erases Einstein&#8217;s equations and sketches a truly stunning mural with just a few strokes of chalk.<\/p>\n<p>Saint Peter claps. &#8220;Surely you are the great artist you claim to be!&#8221; he says. &#8220;Come on in!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Then Saint Peter looks up and sees George W. Bush. Saint Peter scratches his head and says, &#8220;Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove yours?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>George W. looks bewildered and says, &#8220;Who are Einstein and Picasso?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Saint Peter sighs and says, &#8220;Come on in, George.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, &#8220;You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?&#8221; Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, &#8220;Could I have a blackboard and [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[47],"tags":[710,776],"class_list":["post-3089","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-politics","tag-george-w-bush","tag-heaven"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3089","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3089"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3089\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3089"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3089"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3089"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}