{"id":3077,"date":"2015-01-18T13:54:55","date_gmt":"2015-01-18T11:54:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3077"},"modified":"2015-01-18T13:54:55","modified_gmt":"2015-01-18T11:54:55","slug":"you-might-be-a-democrat-if","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3077","title":{"rendered":"You Might Be A Democrat If&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>You can&#8217;t talk about foreign policy without using the word conspiracy.<\/li>\n<li>You think Ralph Nader makes a lot of sense.<\/li>\n<li>The closest you&#8217;ve ever actually been to a rain forest is a Sting concert.<\/li>\n<li>You don&#8217;t understand why anyone was bothered by Jane&#8217;s trip to Hanoi.<\/li>\n<li>You think solar energy is being held back by those greedy oil companies.<\/li>\n<li>You would rather have Bill Clinton make your investments than Fidelity.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;ve never had to worry about marginal tax rates.<\/li>\n<li>You have to use the term &#8220;mean spirited&#8221; in every sentence when talking about welfare reform.<\/li>\n<li>You actually expect to collect Social Security.<\/li>\n<li>You think the State of Florida should have tried to reform Ted Bundy.<\/li>\n<li>You have a &#8220;Run, Jesse Run&#8221; bumper sticker on your diesel Volvo.<\/li>\n<li>You think the Great Society has actually worked.<\/li>\n<li>You got teary eyed during the film &#8220;The American President.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>You think Ayn Rand is an African currency.<\/li>\n<li>You get goose bumps when Barbra Streisand sings for Bill.<\/li>\n<li>You think political patronage describes the Kennedy family.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;ve tried to get in touch with Hillary&#8217;s broker.<\/li>\n<li>You think the Free Market is where they hand out Government cheese.<\/li>\n<li>You think Carter should be on Mt. Rushmore.<\/li>\n<li>You believe personal injury lawyers when they say they are just trying to defend the little guy.<\/li>\n<li>You think that Vietnam and Bosnia are two completely different situations.<\/li>\n<li>You know that those profit mongering drug companies could find a cure for AIDS if they really wanted to.<\/li>\n<li>You like Rolling Stone, but they should really get rid of that PJ O&#8217;Rourke guy.<\/li>\n<li>You actually believe the NY Times and Washington Post.<\/li>\n<li>You know at least one Vegan.<\/li>\n<li>You trust Teddy Kennedy when he said that she was driving.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;d rather own Birkenstock than Merck Stock.<\/li>\n<li>You actually believe that Clinton has created 4 million jobs.<\/li>\n<li>You think Capital Formation refers to the Secret Service contingent following Bill on his daily jog to McDonalds.<\/li>\n<li>You think that the Teamsters are misunderstood.<\/li>\n<li>You think public housing is great, but just NIMBY (Not In My Back Yard).<\/li>\n<li>You think the anti-war protestors from &#8217;60s are the real heros.<\/li>\n<li>You think that Supply Side Economics refers to your dope dealer&#8217;s stash.<\/li>\n<li>You would send your kids to public schools, if they just had better extracurriculars.<\/li>\n<li>You think Al Gore is the second most powerful person in Washington.<\/li>\n<li>You actually think that poverty can be abolished.<\/li>\n<li>You think that Joan Baez had something to say.<\/li>\n<li>You admire the Swedish welfare system.<\/li>\n<li>You know that Jefferson really meant to say &#8220;Entitled to Happiness.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>You think the Flat Tax should be at 95%.<\/li>\n<li>You go to Gay Pride Day parades so that no one can call you homophobic.<\/li>\n<li>You know that Vince Foster wasn&#8217;t having an affair with Hillary because no one is that desperate.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You can&#8217;t talk about foreign policy without using the word conspiracy. You think Ralph Nader makes a lot of sense. The closest you&#8217;ve ever actually been to a rain forest is a Sting concert. You don&#8217;t understand why anyone was bothered by Jane&#8217;s trip to Hanoi. You think solar energy is being held back by [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[47],"tags":[496],"class_list":["post-3077","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-politics","tag-democrat"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3077","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3077"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3077\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3077"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3077"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3077"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}