{"id":3075,"date":"2015-01-18T13:54:10","date_gmt":"2015-01-18T11:54:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3075"},"modified":"2015-01-18T13:54:10","modified_gmt":"2015-01-18T11:54:10","slug":"dear-tide","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3075","title":{"rendered":"Dear Tide"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Dear Tide,<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m writing to you to say what an excellent product you have. I&#8217;ve used it since my college days, when my Mom told me it was the best.<\/p>\n<p>In fact, about a month ago, while at my girlfriend&#8217;s house, I spilled some red wine on my new white shirt. She started to berate me about my drinking problem. One thing lead to another and I had a lot of her blood on my white shirt, as well. I tried to get the stain out using her bargain detergent, but it wouldn&#8217;t come out. On my way home, I stopped and got a bottle of liquid Tide and all of the stains came out. So well, in fact, that the DNA tests where negative!<\/p>\n<p>I thank you, once again, for a great product. I now have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people.<\/p>\n<p>Yours truly,<\/p>\n<p>Gary Condit<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dear Tide, I&#8217;m writing to you to say what an excellent product you have. I&#8217;ve used it since my college days, when my Mom told me it was the best. In fact, about a month ago, while at my girlfriend&#8217;s house, I spilled some red wine on my new white shirt. She started to berate [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[47],"tags":[696],"class_list":["post-3075","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-politics","tag-gary-condit"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3075","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3075"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3075\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3075"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3075"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3075"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}