{"id":3060,"date":"2015-01-17T21:02:57","date_gmt":"2015-01-17T19:02:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3060"},"modified":"2015-01-17T21:02:57","modified_gmt":"2015-01-17T19:02:57","slug":"if-bill-clinton-were-in-star-wars","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3060","title":{"rendered":"If Bill Clinton Were in Star Wars&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>&#8220;Well, it depends on your definition of &#8216;father&#8217;, Luke.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Who knew the Jedi Mind Trick could work on 250 million people all at once?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I *absolutely* support the use of droids in the military&#8230; Okay, now I don&#8217;t.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Oh-h-h, you&#8217;re looking for a little *WOOKIE*&#8230; Well, that&#8217;s different.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Luke, I am your father. Obi-Wan, I&#8217;m your father, too. And that Queen chick? I&#8217;m her daddy for sure. And Leia&#8217;s. And Lando&#8217;s, Boba Fett&#8217;s, Jabba the Hutt&#8217;s, Chewie&#8217;s&#8230;&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Wretched hive of scum and villainy? Woo-hoo, count me in!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I think the American people would like a little more bass in my theme music.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Dispose of that troublesome young Jedi, Vince Skyfoster &#8212; and make it look like a suicide.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I did not have sexual relations with that wookie, Ms. Chewinsky.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;It&#8217;s a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away &#8212; and I&#8217;m still a lyin&#8217; weasel.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Cholesterol does not concern me, Admiral. I want that Big Mac &#8212; not excuses.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Sorry about that lightsaber, Sugar. Just consider it laser dental work.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;These are not the droids you&#8217;re looking for, Ma&#8217;am. Say, it&#8217;s getting hot in here &#8212; you might want to take off your top.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;She&#8217;s my sister?!? Well, back on my home planet of Arkansas, that ain&#8217;t an obstacle!&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;Well, it depends on your definition of &#8216;father&#8217;, Luke.&#8221; &#8220;Who knew the Jedi Mind Trick could work on 250 million people all at once?&#8221; &#8220;I *absolutely* support the use of droids in the military&#8230; Okay, now I don&#8217;t.&#8221; &#8220;Oh-h-h, you&#8217;re looking for a little *WOOKIE*&#8230; Well, that&#8217;s different.&#8221; &#8220;Luke, I am your father. Obi-Wan, I&#8217;m [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[47],"tags":[234,1360],"class_list":["post-3060","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-politics","tag-bill-clinton","tag-star-wars"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3060","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3060"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3060\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3060"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3060"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3060"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}