{"id":3046,"date":"2015-01-17T20:54:40","date_gmt":"2015-01-17T18:54:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3046"},"modified":"2015-01-17T20:54:40","modified_gmt":"2015-01-17T18:54:40","slug":"clinton-quickies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3046","title":{"rendered":"Clinton Quickies"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<p><li>Q: What&#8217;s the working title of Bob Woodward&#8217;s new book?<br \/>\nA: &#8220;All the President&#8217;s Semen&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q: What&#8217;s the difference between Zippergate and Watergate?<br \/>\nA: This time we know who Deep Throat is.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q: Have you heard the latest poll? 10,000 American women were asked if they&#8217;d sleep with President Clinton&#8230;<br \/>\nA: And 80% said, &#8220;not AGAIN!&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q: Why did Monica Lewinsky go to the White House General Store?<br \/>\nA: To buy some Presidential Kneepads.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q: Have you seen the newest Washington souvenir?<br \/>\nA: It&#8217;s a T-shirt that says &#8220;I blew the president, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt!&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q: Why did Clinton meet Lewinsky in the Oval office?<br \/>\nA: It was so she could debrief him.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<li>They&#8217;re playing a new game at the White House: Swallow the leader.<\/li>\n<p><li>Q: What&#8217;s the difference between the Titanic and President Clinton?<br \/>\nA: Only 1,500 people went down on the Titanic.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and Bob Dole have in common?<br \/>\nA: They were both upset when Bill finished first.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Clinton didn&#8217;t tell Monica Lewinsky not to lie in deposition&#8230;<br \/>\nHe told her not to lie in that position.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q: What is Bill&#8217;s definition of safe sex?<br \/>\nA: When Hillary is out of town.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q: How does Bill keep Monica Lewinsky away from the White House?<br \/>\nA: He keeps offering to send Ted Kennedy over to give her a ride.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>President Clinton looks up from his desk in the Oval Office to see one of his aides nervously approach him.<br \/>\n&#8220;What is it?&#8221; exclaims the President.<br \/>\n&#8220;It&#8217;s this Abortion Bill Mr. President,&#8221; the aide replies. &#8220;What do you want to do about it&#8230;?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Just go ahead and pay it,&#8221; responds the President.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q: What does Bill say to Hillary after a romantic interlude?<br \/>\nA: &#8220;Honey, I&#8217;ll be home in 20 minutes.&#8221; <\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q: Why does Bill Clinton cheat on Hillary?<br \/>\nA: He wants to be on top.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q: How did Bill Clinton paralyze Hillary from the waist down?<br \/>\nA: He married her.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q: How many women does it take to satisfy Bill Clinton&#8217;s sexual appetite?<br \/>\nA: It Takes A Village!<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q: What was Yasser Arafat&#8217;s advice to Bill Clinton?<br \/>\nA: Goats don&#8217;t talk.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q: When did Clinton realize Paula Jones wasn&#8217;t a Democrat?<br \/>\nA: When she didn&#8217;t swallow everything he presented.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q: What&#8217;s the difference between Bill Clinton and a gigolo?<br \/>\nA: A gigolo can only screw one person at a time.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q: What&#8217;s the definition of an Arkansas Virgin?<br \/>\nA: A girl that can run faster than the Governor.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q: What does Teddy Kennedy have that Bill Clinton wishes HE did?<br \/>\nA: A dead girlfriend.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q: Why is Clinton so interested in events in the Middle East?<br \/>\nA: He thinks the Gaza Strip is a topless bar.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Q: What&#8217;s the working title of Bob Woodward&#8217;s new book? A: &#8220;All the President&#8217;s Semen&#8221; Q: What&#8217;s the difference between Zippergate and Watergate? A: This time we know who Deep Throat is. Q: Have you heard the latest poll? 10,000 American women were asked if they&#8217;d sleep with President Clinton&#8230; A: And 80% said, &#8220;not [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpmdr_menu":1,"wpmdr_menu_extended":{"individualPostRemove":1,"individualPostRemoveDate":1,"individualPostRemoveAuthor":1,"individualPostYoastRemovePublished":1,"individualPostYoastRemoveModified":1},"footnotes":""},"categories":[47],"tags":[234],"class_list":["post-3046","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-politics","tag-bill-clinton"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3046","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3046"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3046\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3046"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3046"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3046"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}