{"id":300,"date":"2014-12-21T21:17:40","date_gmt":"2014-12-21T19:17:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=300"},"modified":"2014-12-21T21:17:40","modified_gmt":"2014-12-21T19:17:40","slug":"diary-of-a-new-cook","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=300","title":{"rendered":"Diary of a New Cook"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Dear Diary,<\/p>\n<ul>\n<p><li>Monday:<br \/>\nNow home from honeymoon and settled in our new home, it&#8217;s fun to cook for Bill. Today I made an angel food cake and the recipe said, &#8220;Beat 12 eggs  separately.&#8221; Well, I didn&#8217;t have enough bowls to do that, so I had to borrow enough bowls to beat the eggs in. The cake turned out fine.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Tuesday:<br \/>\nWe wanted a fruit salad for supper. The recipe said, &#8220;Serve without dressing.&#8221; So I didn&#8217;t dress. But, Bill happened to bring a friend home for supper that night. Did they ever look startled when I served the salad.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Wednesday:<br \/>\nI decided to serve rice and found a recipe which said, &#8220;Wash thoroughly before steaming the rice.&#8221; So I heated some water and took a bath before steaming the rice. Sounded kinda silly in the middle of the week. I can&#8217;t say it improved the rice any.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Thursday:<br \/>\nToday Bill asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said, &#8220;Prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving.&#8221; I hunted all over the garden by my mom&#8217;s. So I tossed my salad into the bed of lettuce and stood over there one hour so the dog would not take it. Bill came over and asked if I felt all right. I wonder why?<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Friday:<br \/>\nToday I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said, &#8220;Put all ingredients in a bowl and beat it.&#8221; Beat it I did, right over to my  mom&#8217;s house. There must have been something wrong with the recipe, because when I came back home again it looked the same as when I left it.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Saturday:<br \/>\nBill went shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday. I&#8217;m sure I don&#8217;t know how hens dress for Sunday. I never noticed back on the farm, but I found a doll dress and some little shoes. I though the hen looked real cute. When Bill saw it, I wondered why he counted to 10.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Sunday:<br \/>\nToday Bill&#8217;s folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast, but all we had in the icebox, was hamburger. So I put it in the oven and set the controls for roast. Must be the oven, because it still came out hamburger.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Monday:<br \/>\nI was going to bake bread today. The recipe said, &#8220;Mix well and knead well. Then stand in a warm place until double in bulk.&#8221; I just won&#8217;t bake bread if I have to double in bulk.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Good night Dear Diary. This has been an exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come, so I can try a new recipe on Bill.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dear Diary, Monday: Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home, it&#8217;s fun to cook for Bill. Today I made an angel food cake and the recipe said, &#8220;Beat 12 eggs separately.&#8221; Well, I didn&#8217;t have enough bowls to do that, so I had to borrow enough bowls to beat the eggs in. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[439,813],"class_list":["post-300","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-around-the-house","tag-cooking","tag-house"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/300","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=300"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/300\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=300"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=300"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=300"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}