{"id":2979,"date":"2015-01-16T21:49:33","date_gmt":"2015-01-16T19:49:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2979"},"modified":"2015-01-16T21:49:33","modified_gmt":"2015-01-16T19:49:33","slug":"do-you-want-2-lanes-or-4","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2979","title":{"rendered":"Do You Want 2 Lanes or 4?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie.<\/p>\n<p>The genie said, &#8220;OK, You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I&#8217;m getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three&#8230; You only get one wish!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The man sat, and thought about it for a while and said, &#8220;I&#8217;ve always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I&#8217;m scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The genie laughed and said, &#8220;That&#8217;s impossible!!! Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete &#8212; how much steel!! No, think of another wish.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The man said &#8220;OK, I will try to think of a really good wish&#8221;. Finally, he said, &#8220;I&#8217;ve been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don&#8217;t care and that I&#8217;m insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women, know how they feel inside and what they&#8217;re thinking when they give me the silent treatment, know why they&#8217;re crying, know what they really want when they say &#8220;nothing,&#8221; know how to make them truly happy.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The genie said, &#8220;Do you want that bridge to be two lanes or four?&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said, &#8220;OK, You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I&#8217;m getting a little sick of these wishes [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[36],"tags":[1536],"class_list":["post-2979","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-men-vs-womendating","tag-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2979","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2979"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2979\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2979"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2979"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2979"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}