{"id":2931,"date":"2015-01-16T15:58:04","date_gmt":"2015-01-16T13:58:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2931"},"modified":"2015-01-16T15:58:04","modified_gmt":"2015-01-16T13:58:04","slug":"new-cigarette-ads","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2931","title":{"rendered":"New Cigarette Ads"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Warning: cigarettes give you a raspy voice that makes you sound as cool as you look.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>[Cough] [hack hack] [cough] [thpt] Smooooth.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Don&#8217;t worry; you have an extra lung.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;All of a sudden, your wife nagging you about smoking isn&#8217;t nearly as annoying, is it?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;&#8230;That was the sound of a 65-year-old smoker hocking up a lung oyster at three in the morning.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Are you sure you wouldn&#8217;t rather have a carrot stick?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Betcha can&#8217;t smoke just one.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I have less tar and nicotine than the leading brands, you big pansy.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Buy another pack. Tobacco settlements don&#8217;t pay themselves, you know.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;The Marlboro Man has determined that the Surgeon General is a pussy.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Each cigarette shortens your life by three minutes, so smoke faster.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;You have smoked&#8230; THREE&#8230; packs today. At this rate you will develop emphysema in&#8230; FIVE&#8230; years.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Warning: cigarettes give you a raspy voice that makes you sound as cool as you look.&#8221; [Cough] [hack hack] [cough] [thpt] Smooooth.&#8221; &#8220;Don&#8217;t worry; you have an extra lung.&#8221; &#8220;All of a sudden, your wife nagging you about smoking isn&#8217;t nearly as annoying, is it?&#8221; &#8220;&#8230;That was the sound of a 65-year-old smoker hocking up [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[35],"tags":[1330],"class_list":["post-2931","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-medical","tag-smoking"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2931","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2931"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2931\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2931"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2931"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2931"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}