{"id":293,"date":"2014-12-21T21:05:28","date_gmt":"2014-12-21T19:05:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=293"},"modified":"2014-12-21T21:05:28","modified_gmt":"2014-12-21T19:05:28","slug":"signs-found-in-kitchens","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=293","title":{"rendered":"Signs Found in Kitchens"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen and this kitchen is delirious.<\/li>\n<li>No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.<\/li>\n<li>A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.<\/li>\n<li>If we are what we eat, then I&#8217;m easy, fast, and cheap.<\/li>\n<li>A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.<\/li>\n<li>Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.<\/li>\n<li>Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.<\/li>\n<li>A clean house is a sign of a misspent life.<\/li>\n<li>Help keep the kitchen clean &#8211; eat out.<\/li>\n<li>Housework done properly can kill you.<\/li>\n<li>Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.<\/li>\n<li>My next house will have no kitchen &#8212; just vending machines.<\/li>\n<li>I don&#8217;t do mousework! (With a picture of a kitten.)<\/li>\n<li>Self cleaning kitchen. Clean up after yourself. Mom&#8217;s off duty.<\/li>\n<li>This is *my* kitchen. I am the boss! If you don&#8217;t believe it&#8230;start something!<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m the MOMMY, that&#8217;s why!<\/li>\n<li>Caution: Cook At Work!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen and this kitchen is delirious. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes. A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house. If we are what we eat, then I&#8217;m easy, fast, and cheap. A balanced [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[813,887,924,1319],"class_list":["post-293","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-around-the-house","tag-house","tag-kitchen","tag-lists","tag-signs"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/293","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=293"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/293\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=293"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=293"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=293"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}