{"id":2929,"date":"2015-01-16T15:57:15","date_gmt":"2015-01-16T13:57:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2929"},"modified":"2015-01-16T15:57:15","modified_gmt":"2015-01-16T13:57:15","slug":"ways-to-clean-up-new-york-city","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2929","title":{"rendered":"Ways to Clean Up New York City"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Fake Rolex salesmen must offer fake warranty information.<\/li>\n<li>New rule for cabbies: driving naps should not exceed 12 minutes.<\/li>\n<li>Only 7 Starbucks per block are allowed.<\/li>\n<li>Get the rats out of subway and putting them back in the restaurants where they belong.<\/li>\n<li>Change meaning of middle finger gesture to: &#8220;lookin&#8217; good, neighbor.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Shine Bat Signal into night sky; when Batman shows up, hand him a broom and a pooper scooper.<\/li>\n<li>All drive-by gunmen must carpool.  (Wait, isn&#8217;t this one for LA?)<\/li>\n<li>If Yankees win the World Series again, they can clean up the ticker tape themselves.<\/li>\n<li>Forming task force to get Clinton to move to New Jersey.<\/li>\n<li>Selling sex on street corners after 2 AM is now prohibited.<\/li>\n<li>Women&#8217;s Rights Groups have won a court action to rename the famous street &#8220;Broadway&#8221; to &#8220;His and Her Way.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Grant&#8217;s Tomb only had 22 visitors last year, so the city has licensed it to a Kosher Sushi Bar franchise.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Fake Rolex salesmen must offer fake warranty information. New rule for cabbies: driving naps should not exceed 12 minutes. Only 7 Starbucks per block are allowed. Get the rats out of subway and putting them back in the restaurants where they belong. Change meaning of middle finger gesture to: &#8220;lookin&#8217; good, neighbor.&#8221; Shine Bat Signal [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[51],"tags":[1070],"class_list":["post-2929","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-regional","tag-new-york-city"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2929","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2929"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2929\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2929"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2929"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2929"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}