{"id":2889,"date":"2015-01-15T14:31:35","date_gmt":"2015-01-15T12:31:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2889"},"modified":"2015-01-15T14:31:35","modified_gmt":"2015-01-15T12:31:35","slug":"the-3-biggest-lies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2889","title":{"rendered":"The 3 Biggest Lies"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>3 Biggest Software Lies\n<ul>\n<li>The program&#8217;s fully tested and bugfree.<\/li>\n<li>We&#8217;re working on the documentation.<\/li>\n<li>Of course we can modify it.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>3 Biggest Computer Room Lies\n<ul>\n<li>As long as you remember to &#8216;SAVE&#8217; your input, you&#8217;ll never lose any files.<\/li>\n<li>We run the stuff through as fast as it comes in the door.<\/li>\n<li>The new machines on order.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>3 Biggest Large Company Lies\n<ul>\n<li>We have an entrepreneurial spirit here.<\/li>\n<li>People are our greatest resource.<\/li>\n<li>We say &#8216;let the marketplace decide&#8217;.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>3 Biggest Small Company Lies\n<ul>\n<li>We have an entrepreneurial spirit here.<\/li>\n<li>The boss is just one of the guys.<\/li>\n<li>Staying small is a conscious decision.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>3 Biggest Marketing Lies\n<ul>\n<li>Immediate delivery?&#8230;No problem.<\/li>\n<li>We treat every customer as if they were our most important.<\/li>\n<li>We&#8217;re going out to lunch to talk business.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>3 Biggest Engineering Professor&#8217;s Lies\n<ul>\n<li>Some day this course will come in handy.<\/li>\n<li>These tests are more trouble for me than they are for you.<\/li>\n<li>This is the way they do it in industry.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>3 Biggest Executive Lies\n<ul>\n<li>Money&#8230;it&#8217;s just a score card.<\/li>\n<li>If it were up to me, there&#8217;d be no assigned parking spaces.<\/li>\n<li>You have to twist my arm to get me to go on a business trip.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>3 Biggest undergraduate student starting Physics Lies\n<ul>\n<li>There are plenty of jobs out there for Physics graduates.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;ll make lots of money in your proffessional career.<\/li>\n<li>The general public respect Physicists.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>3 Biggest student teacher lies\n<ul>\n<li>The school will help and support you all they can.<\/li>\n<li>This teaching course is interesting and stimulating.<\/li>\n<li>Kids today are just the same as when you went to school.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>3 Biggest advertising lies\n<ul>\n<li>This product will taste as good as it looks.<\/li>\n<li>You really need our product.<\/li>\n<li>If you use our product you will have sex with the same kinds of people as you see in our ad.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>3 Biggest mail order lies\n<ul>\n<li>Delivery of your product will occur within 30 days of ordering it.<\/li>\n<li>If you&#8217;re not satisfied with our product we will guarentee a full refund.<\/li>\n<li>We offer repair of your product free of charge with an accredited repairer in your home State.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>3 Biggest retail industry lies\n<ul>\n<li>Our staff are courteous and considerate.<\/li>\n<li>We try to help you with your problem.<\/li>\n<li>You can exchange or get full refund on an item that you&#8217;re not satisfied with.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>3 Biggest politician lies\n<ul>\n<li>I&#8217;ll be factual and to the point.<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;ll give you a straightforward answer to your question.<\/li>\n<li>The government doesn&#8217;t waste taxpayers money.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>3 Biggest parent lies\n<ul>\n<li>We&#8217;re doing this for your own interest.<\/li>\n<li>You can have that (do that) later (when you&#8217;re older).<\/li>\n<li>The family can&#8217;t afford it now.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>3 Biggest supermodels lies\n<ul>\n<li>Women normally look like that.<\/li>\n<li>Women should look like that.<\/li>\n<li>Fasting and dieting is good for your health.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>3 Biggest beer ads lies\n<ul>\n<li>Drinking beer is for macho men only.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;ll meet good lifelong friends drinking beer in a bar.<\/li>\n<li>Women think drunken loudmouths are sexy.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>3 Biggest life lies\n<ul>\n<li>..and they lived happily ever after.<\/li>\n<li>Dying is painless.<\/li>\n<li>Things have gotten so bad that they couldn&#8217;t possibly get worse.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>3 Biggest Software Lies The program&#8217;s fully tested and bugfree. We&#8217;re working on the documentation. Of course we can modify it. 3 Biggest Computer Room Lies As long as you remember to &#8216;SAVE&#8217; your input, you&#8217;ll never lose any files. We run the stuff through as fast as it comes in the door. The new [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[917],"class_list":["post-2889","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funlists","tag-lies"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2889","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2889"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2889\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2889"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2889"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2889"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}