{"id":2883,"date":"2015-01-15T14:28:31","date_gmt":"2015-01-15T12:28:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2883"},"modified":"2015-01-15T14:28:31","modified_gmt":"2015-01-15T12:28:31","slug":"the-kilted-scotsman","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2883","title":{"rendered":"The Kilted Scotsman"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A kilted Scotsman was walking down a country path after finishing off a considerable amount of whiskey at a local pub. As he staggered down the road, he felt quite sleepy and decided to take a nap, with his back against a tree.<\/p>\n<p>As he slept, two young lasses walked down the road and heard the Scotsman snoring loudly. They saw him, and one said, &#8220;I&#8217;ve always wondered what a Scotsman wears under his kilt.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>She boldly walked over to the sleeping man, raised his kilt, and saw what nature had provided him at his birth.<\/p>\n<p>Her friend said, &#8220;Well, he has solved a great mystery for us, now! He must be rewarded!&#8221; So, she took a blue ribbon from her hair, and gently tied it around what nature had provided the Scotsman, and the two walked away.<\/p>\n<p>Some time later, the Scotsman was awakened by the call of nature, and walked around to the other side of the tree to relieve himself. He raised his kilt&#8230;and saw where the blue ribbon was tied.<\/p>\n<p>After several moments of bewilderment, the Scotsman said&#8230; &#8220;I don&#8217;t know where y&#8217;been laddie&#8230;but it&#8217;s nice ta&#8217; know y&#8217;won first prize!&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A kilted Scotsman was walking down a country path after finishing off a considerable amount of whiskey at a local pub. As he staggered down the road, he felt quite sleepy and decided to take a nap, with his back against a tree. As he slept, two young lasses walked down the road and heard [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[53],"tags":[401],"class_list":["post-2883","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-say-what","tag-commando"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2883","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2883"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2883\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2883"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2883"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2883"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}