{"id":2848,"date":"2015-01-14T19:10:56","date_gmt":"2015-01-14T17:10:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2848"},"modified":"2015-01-14T19:10:56","modified_gmt":"2015-01-14T17:10:56","slug":"remembering-the-hollywood-squares","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2848","title":{"rendered":"Remembering the Hollywood Squares"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, these tidbits may bring tears of joy to your eyes!<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Q. Do female frogs croak?<br \/>\nA. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.<\/li>\n<p><li>Q. If you&#8217;re going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?<br \/>\nA. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.<br \/>\nA. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. You&#8217;ve been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?<br \/>\nA. Don Knotts: That&#8217;s what&#8217;s been keeping me awake.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he&#8217;s married?<br \/>\nA. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?<br \/>\nA. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say &#8220;I Love You&#8221;?<br \/>\nA. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. What are &#8220;Do It,&#8221; &#8220;I Can Help,&#8221; and &#8220;I Can&#8217;t Get Enough&#8221;?<br \/>\nA. George Gobel: I don&#8217;t know, but it&#8217;s coming from the next apartment.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. Paul, why do Hell&#8217;s Angels wear leather?<br \/>\nA. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. Charley, you&#8217;ve just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?<br \/>\nA. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I&#8217;m too busy growing strawberries!<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. In bowling, what&#8217;s a perfect score?<br \/>\nA. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.One is politics, what is the other?<br \/>\nA. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?<br \/>\nA. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I&#8217;m always safe in the bedroom.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. Can boys join the Campfire Girls?<br \/>\nA. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?<br \/>\nA. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?<br \/>\nA. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the Army.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?<br \/>\nA. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn&#8217;t neglected.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?<br \/>\nA. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?<br \/>\nA. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. When a couple has a baby, who is responsible for its sex?<br \/>\nA. Charley Weaver: I&#8217;ll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?<br \/>\nA. Charley Weaver: His feet.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?<br \/>\nA. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh!!!<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, these tidbits may bring tears of joy to your eyes! Q. Do female frogs croak? A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough. Q. If you&#8217;re going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be? A. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpmdr_menu":1,"wpmdr_menu_extended":{"individualPostRemove":1,"individualPostRemoveDate":1,"individualPostRemoveAuthor":1,"individualPostYoastRemovePublished":1,"individualPostYoastRemoveModified":1},"footnotes":""},"categories":[59],"tags":[339,692],"class_list":["post-2848","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tv","tag-celebrity","tag-game-shows"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2848","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2848"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2848\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2848"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2848"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2848"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}