{"id":2836,"date":"2015-01-14T19:01:01","date_gmt":"2015-01-14T17:01:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2836"},"modified":"2015-01-14T19:01:01","modified_gmt":"2015-01-14T17:01:01","slug":"green-side-up","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2836","title":{"rendered":"Green Side Up"},"content":{"rendered":"

A woman wants the inside of her house painted, so she calls a contractor in to help her. They wander around the house, and she points out the colors she wants. She says, “Now in the living room, I’d like to have a neutral beige, very soft and warm.” The contractor nods thoughtfully, then goes to the window, leans out, and yells “Green side up”. The woman is most perplexed, but she lets it slide.<\/p>\n

They wander into the next room. She says, “In the dining room, I’d like a light white, not stark, but very bright and airy.” The contractor nods, then he goes to the window, leans out, and yells “Green side up”. The woman is even more perplexed, but still she lets it slide.<\/p>\n

They wander further into the next room. She says, “In the bedroom, I’d like blue. Restful peaceful, cool blue.” The contractor nods, then once more he goes to the window, leans out, and yells “Green side up”. This is too much.<\/p>\n

The woman has to ask. So she says, “Every time I tell you what I want in a room, you don’t even bother to write it down, but then you yell out the window “Green Side Up”. What on earth does that mean? Are you even paying attention to what I want?”<\/p>\n

The contractor recites her color choices from memory, then shakes his head and says, “I have four Finns laying sod across the street, and I have to keep reminding them which side goes up.”<\/p>\n

\n
Lovingly dedicated to the memory of Wilho Miller, who often told me this favorite joke as a child.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A woman wants the inside of her house painted, so she calls a contractor in to help her. They wander around the house, and she points out the colors she wants. She says, “Now in the living room, I’d like to have a neutral beige, very soft and warm.” The contractor nods thoughtfully, then goes […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,51],"tags":[1120],"class_list":["post-2836","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-around-the-house","category-regional","tag-painting"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2836","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2836"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2836\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2836"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2836"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2836"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}