{"id":2771,"date":"2015-01-12T18:50:00","date_gmt":"2015-01-12T16:50:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2771"},"modified":"2015-01-12T18:50:00","modified_gmt":"2015-01-12T16:50:00","slug":"breakfast","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2771","title":{"rendered":"Breakfast"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A little boy came down to breakfast. Since he lived on a farm, his mother asked if he had done his chores. &#8220;Not yet,&#8221; said the little boy. His mother tells him he can&#8217;t have any breakfast until he does his chores.<\/p>\n<p>Well, he&#8217;s a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.<\/p>\n<p>He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;How come I don&#8217;t get any eggs and bacon? Why don&#8217;t I have any milk in my cereal?&#8221; he asks.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Well,&#8221; his mother says, &#8220;I saw you kick a chicken, so you don&#8217;t get any eggs. I saw you kick the pig, so you don&#8217;t get any bacon, either. I also saw you kick the cow, so you aren&#8217;t getting any milk this morning.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Just about then, his father comes down for breakfast, and he kicks the cat as he&#8217;s walking into the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, &#8220;Are you going to tell him, or should I?&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A little boy came down to breakfast. Since he lived on a farm, his mother asked if he had done his chores. &#8220;Not yet,&#8221; said the little boy. His mother tells him he can&#8217;t have any breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he&#8217;s a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[22],"tags":[368,623],"class_list":["post-2771","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-families","tag-chores","tag-farm"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2771","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2771"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2771\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2771"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2771"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2771"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}