{"id":2763,"date":"2015-01-12T18:43:04","date_gmt":"2015-01-12T16:43:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2763"},"modified":"2015-01-12T18:43:04","modified_gmt":"2015-01-12T16:43:04","slug":"ooops","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2763","title":{"rendered":"Ooops!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Hey Buddy,<\/p>\n<p>There was a little &#8220;incident&#8221; at your house today while you were gone. Please allow me to explain:<\/p>\n<p>I was watching T.V. and I heard this beeping going off in the kitchen. The first thing I thought of was the smoke detector going off so I ran into the kitchen and checked everything out. By the time I got to the kitchen, the beeping had stopped and I couldn&#8217;t smell any smoke.<\/p>\n<p>I went back to watching my movie and I kept hearing a beep every minute. I knew that the type of smoke detector that you have is the type that took a few minutes to reset itself. I kept watching my movie, and about 10 minutes later I was really getting my self in a bunchy twitch cause that beeping continued.<\/p>\n<p>I paused the movie, ran out to the kitchen, unhooked the detector, and went back to the movie.<\/p>\n<p>The beeping continued.<\/p>\n<p>Having a college degree in electronics, I knew that the capacitors could hold a charge after the batteries were removed. About 20 minutes later, I was really getting heat stroke because I could still hear the beeping. And I got so mad, I went out and grabbed a pair of wire cutters and cut the measly spud pocket speaker off the smoke detector and left it sitting on the counter.<\/p>\n<p>I sat back down and heard &#8220;beep&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>Now I was steamed. Just dang fuming. I listened to that &#8220;beep&#8221; about three more times, then I finally got a hammer and pounded the ever loving life out of your smoke detector on the counter (while I was pounding I heard &#8220;beep&#8221;).<\/p>\n<p>It was really getting me mad. I sat back down and resumed the movie and sure enough &#8220;beep&#8221;.  I had the wire cutters in my hand and I went out (curious to see what the heck could still be running it) and cut all the little parts into teeny tiny weenie pieces, and put half into a little plastic container and left half on the counter. I took half the parts over to the living room thinking if it beeps I know it&#8217;s these, and half the parts I left on the counter knowing it would be them.<\/p>\n<p>In moments I heard the parts in the kitchen beep. So I took them into the living room and spread them on the table, staring at them, saying to myself &#8220;the part that beeps, will get smashed&#8221; Not three seconds later, the parts I just had, now on the counter in the kitchen beeped. I was furious. I thought to myself, (his smoke detector is possessed). I brought all the parts into the living room and laid them out on the coffee table. I was staring at them, just waiting for one of them to beep so I could smash the snot out of it.<\/p>\n<p>All of a sudden, I hear &#8220;beep&#8221;, but it was coming from the kitchen. I walked out there, all freaked out. I just waited.. and waited.. it seemed like hours but was only 30 seconds later, I heard the mystifying &#8220;beep&#8221; coming from your jacket. I looked in the jacket and it was your beeper that you had left at home by accident. All I could do was take my hammer and beat the ever loving snot out of your beeper because I was the one who paged you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hey Buddy, There was a little &#8220;incident&#8221; at your house today while you were gone. Please allow me to explain: I was watching T.V. and I heard this beeping going off in the kitchen. The first thing I thought of was the smoke detector going off so I ran into the kitchen and checked everything [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[53],"tags":[219,1328],"class_list":["post-2763","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-say-what","tag-beeper","tag-smoke-detector"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2763","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2763"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2763\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2763"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2763"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2763"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}