{"id":2757,"date":"2015-01-12T18:35:52","date_gmt":"2015-01-12T16:35:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2757"},"modified":"2015-01-12T18:35:52","modified_gmt":"2015-01-12T16:35:52","slug":"worst-fortune-cookie-fortunes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2757","title":{"rendered":"Worst Fortune Cookie Fortunes"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>&#8220;What, 3 servings of Moo Shoo Pork weren&#8217;t enough for you, tubby?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Your fullness will be short-lived. Like an hour, tops.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Put all your money and jewelry in the egg roll and nobody gets hurt.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Today&#8217;s dog in alley is tomorrow&#8217;s moo goo gai pan.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Patron who mocks waiter&#8217;s accent will unwittingly consume chef&#8217;s bodily fluids.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Man who look to stale cookie for advice probably make good busboy. Ask waitress for application.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Your strength lies in your continued belief that what you just ate was indeed duck.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Creative Chinese chef without utensils can still find ways to stir soup.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;What, 3 servings of Moo Shoo Pork weren&#8217;t enough for you, tubby?&#8221; &#8220;Your fullness will be short-lived. Like an hour, tops.&#8221; &#8220;Put all your money and jewelry in the egg roll and nobody gets hurt.&#8221; &#8220;Today&#8217;s dog in alley is tomorrow&#8217;s moo goo gai pan.&#8221; &#8220;Patron who mocks waiter&#8217;s accent will unwittingly consume chef&#8217;s bodily [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[364,1261],"class_list":["post-2757","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funlists","tag-chinese-cooking","tag-restaurants"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2757","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2757"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2757\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2757"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2757"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2757"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}