{"id":271,"date":"2014-12-21T19:57:17","date_gmt":"2014-12-21T17:57:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=271"},"modified":"2014-12-21T19:57:17","modified_gmt":"2014-12-21T17:57:17","slug":"abc-vending-service-complaint-reply-form","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=271","title":{"rendered":"ABC Vending Service Complaint Reply Form"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Thank you for your inquiry\/comments\/complaints about our vending service.<\/p>\n<p>___ We are aware that _____________ machine has not been stocked in _____ days.<\/p>\n<ul>___ We are waiting for the weekend.<br \/>\n    ___ We are out of items that have expired.<br \/>\n    ___ We&#8217;re busy, don&#8217;t bother us about this.<br \/>\n    ___ We don&#8217;t care.<\/ul>\n<p>___ We are aware that the price for __________ seems high at $_______ but,<\/p>\n<ul>___ we have to make a living.<br \/>\n    ___ we use an algorithm 3*retail+your_age.<br \/>\n    ___ we charge others more.<br \/>\n    ___ we adjust it to allow for spoilage.<\/ul>\n<p>___ We are aware that<\/p>\n<ul>___ the sodas are warm<br \/>\n    ___ the milk is curdled<br \/>\n    ___ sandwiches are stale<br \/>\n    ___ gum is hard<br \/>\n    ___ candy bars are petrified<\/ul>\n<ul>and assure you that that is the way it is supposed to be, really.<\/ul>\n<p>___ We understand that<\/p>\n<ul>___ the bill changer can&#8217;t,<br \/>\n    ___ coin return won&#8217;t,<br \/>\n    ___ product selection doesn&#8217;t,<\/p>\n<p>        and believe that<br \/>\n    ___ you should relax, it all evens out.<br \/>\n    ___ learn to live with it.<br \/>\n    ___ bring in your own change next time.<br \/>\n    ___ be happy it gave you anything.<br \/>\n    ___ quit eating so much junk food.<\/ul>\n<p>Thank you and Happy Eating.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Thank you for your inquiry\/comments\/complaints about our vending service. ___ We are aware that _____________ machine has not been stocked in _____ days. ___ We are waiting for the weekend. ___ We are out of items that have expired. ___ We&#8217;re busy, don&#8217;t bother us about this. ___ We don&#8217;t care. ___ We are aware [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[667,1253,1490],"class_list":["post-271","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-apps-and-forms","tag-forms","tag-reply","tag-vending-machine"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/271","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=271"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/271\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=271"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=271"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=271"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}