{"id":2701,"date":"2015-01-11T13:20:12","date_gmt":"2015-01-11T11:20:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2701"},"modified":"2015-01-11T13:20:12","modified_gmt":"2015-01-11T11:20:12","slug":"family-stress-test","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2701","title":{"rendered":"Family Stress Test"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>How to score: 0 if the statement is never true, 1 if it is rarely true, 2 if it is sometimes true, and 3 if it is always true.<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>___ Conversations often begin with &#8220;Put the gun down, and then we can talk&#8221;.<\/li>\n<li>___ The school principal has your number on speed-dial.<\/li>\n<li>___ The cat is on Valium.<\/li>\n<li>___ People have trouble understanding your kids, because they learned to speak through clenched teeth.<\/li>\n<li>___ You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaf.<\/li>\n<li>___ The number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the number of people in the family.<\/li>\n<li>___ No one has *time* to wait for microwave TV dinners.<\/li>\n<li>___ &#8220;Family meetings&#8221; are often mediated by law enforcement officials.<\/li>\n<li>___ You have to check your kid&#8217;s day-timer to see if he can take out the trash.<\/li>\n<li>___ No-Doze gives you bulk rates.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>How you rate:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>30 &#8211; a perfect score. Welcome to the neighborhood!<\/li>\n<li>20-29 &#8211; You are doing reasonably well, but still have too little going on in your life. Crank it up.<\/li>\n<li>10-19 &#8211; You have mastered some of the aspects of the stress-filled life, but still have a long way to go. Have you considered a parallel career path?<\/li>\n<li>0- 9 &#8211; Enjoying all that extra time? What do you *do* anyway?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How to score: 0 if the statement is never true, 1 if it is rarely true, 2 if it is sometimes true, and 3 if it is always true. ___ Conversations often begin with &#8220;Put the gun down, and then we can talk&#8221;. ___ The school principal has your number on speed-dial. ___ The cat [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[48],"tags":[1373],"class_list":["post-2701","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-quiz","tag-stress"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2701","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2701"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2701\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2701"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2701"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2701"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}