{"id":2696,"date":"2015-01-11T13:04:10","date_gmt":"2015-01-11T11:04:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2696"},"modified":"2015-01-11T13:04:10","modified_gmt":"2015-01-11T11:04:10","slug":"what-kind-of-coffee-drinker-are-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2696","title":{"rendered":"What Kind of Coffee Drinker Are You?"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>When ordering coffee at a shop, what size do you generally prefer?\n<ol>\n<li>Large<\/li>\n<li>Extra Large<\/li>\n<li>Bladder Buster 2000 (c)<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/li>\n<li>What do you enjoy most about coffee?\n<ol>\n<li>The aroma<\/li>\n<li>The flavor.<\/li>\n<li>The chest pains.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/li>\n<li>Finish this sentence: &#8220;When I&#8217;m not drinking coffee, I&#8217;m&#8230;&#8221;\n<ol>\n<li>&#8230;thinking about coffee.<\/li>\n<li>&#8230;planning on drinking coffee soon.<\/li>\n<li>&#8230;eating coffee grounds.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/li>\n<li>What kind of bean do you prefer?\n<ol>\n<li>Sumatran<\/li>\n<li>Guatemalan<\/li>\n<li>I don&#8217;t care, JUST GIVE ME SOME NOW!!<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/li>\n<li>Finish this sentence: &#8220;Coffee makes me&#8230;&#8221;\n<ol>\n<li>Think better.<\/li>\n<li>Feel better.<\/li>\n<li>ttTTtypPPpeEE bettRReeRr.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/li>\n<li>If a waitperson asks if you would like a coffee refill, you answer:\n<ol>\n<li>&#8220;Yes, please.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Of course.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Well, duh!&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/li>\n<li>An extremely cute guy\/gal asks you if they can share your coffee with you. What do you do?\n<ol>\n<li>Say, &#8220;Sure!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Say, &#8220;No, thank you.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Threaten bodily harm.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/li>\n<li>What best describes coffee?\n<ol>\n<li>Delicious refreshment.<\/li>\n<li>A quick pick-me-up.<\/li>\n<li>Life blood.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/li>\n<li>How close is the closest coffee shop to your home?\n<ol>\n<li>More than three city blocks.<\/li>\n<li>Less than three city blocks.<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m homeless. I spent all my money on coffee.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/li>\n<li>What&#8217;s the worst part about drinking coffee?\n<ol>\n<li>The aftertaste.<\/li>\n<li>Stopping.<\/li>\n<li>Can you repeat the question? I haven&#8217;t slept in four days&#8230;<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/li>\n<p><b>Scoring:<\/b><br \/>\nAll 1 answers get 10 points.<br \/>\nAll 2 answers get 5 points.<br \/>\nAll 3 answers get 2 points.\n<\/p>\n<p><b>Score:<\/b><br \/>\n100 &#8211; 50 = You like to drink coffee.<br \/>\n50 &#8211; 22 = You like to drink coffee a lot.<br \/>\n20 = You could drink Juan Valdez under the table.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When ordering coffee at a shop, what size do you generally prefer? Large Extra Large Bladder Buster 2000 (c) What do you enjoy most about coffee? The aroma The flavor. The chest pains. Finish this sentence: &#8220;When I&#8217;m not drinking coffee, I&#8217;m&#8230;&#8221; &#8230;thinking about coffee. &#8230;planning on drinking coffee soon. &#8230;eating coffee grounds. What kind [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpmdr_menu":1,"wpmdr_menu_extended":{"individualPostRemove":1,"individualPostRemoveDate":1,"individualPostRemoveAuthor":1,"individualPostYoastRemovePublished":1,"individualPostYoastRemoveModified":1},"footnotes":""},"categories":[48],"tags":[103,297],"class_list":["post-2696","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-quiz","tag-addict","tag-caffeine"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2696","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2696"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2696\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2696"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2696"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2696"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}