{"id":2688,"date":"2015-01-11T12:06:54","date_gmt":"2015-01-11T10:06:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2688"},"modified":"2015-01-11T12:06:54","modified_gmt":"2015-01-11T10:06:54","slug":"animal-thoughts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2688","title":{"rendered":"Animal Thoughts"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Animals have the darndest thoughts.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Dog: &#8220;They keep putting the lid down on the big water bowl.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Goldfish: &#8220;Just because I have a three-second memory, they don&#8217;t think I&#8217;ll mind eating the same fish flakes &#8230; Oh boy! Fish flakes!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Dog: &#8220;Man, why do they keep rubbing my nose in it? I already KNOW whose it is!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Goldfish: &#8220;The knight never comes out of the castle to fight me for dominion over the fish tank. So I must continue patrolling, for I am lord and master!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Parrot: &#8220;Tease, tease, tease! But do those greedy clowns ever really give me a cracker?  HECK, no!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Cat: &#8220;Why are these people in my house?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Goldfish: &#8220;Oh, tap-tap-tap! There&#8217;s a new one!&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Animals have the darndest thoughts. Dog: &#8220;They keep putting the lid down on the big water bowl.&#8221; Goldfish: &#8220;Just because I have a three-second memory, they don&#8217;t think I&#8217;ll mind eating the same fish flakes &#8230; Oh boy! Fish flakes!&#8221; Dog: &#8220;Man, why do they keep rubbing my nose in it? I already KNOW whose [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[46],"tags":[1154],"class_list":["post-2688","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-pets","tag-pets"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2688","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2688"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2688\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2688"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2688"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2688"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}