{"id":2679,"date":"2015-01-10T19:43:05","date_gmt":"2015-01-10T17:43:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2679"},"modified":"2015-01-10T19:43:05","modified_gmt":"2015-01-10T17:43:05","slug":"are-you-male-or-female","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2679","title":{"rendered":"Are You Male or Female?"},"content":{"rendered":"
    \n

  1. Aside from getting sterilized, your birth control options are:
    \na. one
    \nb. almost a dozen<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

  2. When parking your car in a public garage you:
    \na. toss your keys jauntily to the attendant
    \nb. hand your keys over politely<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

  3. You haven’t shaved in 4 days. The resulting stubble can be construed as:
    \na. sexy
    \nb. gross<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

  4. At the doctor’s, a common request would be:
    \na. “Cough.”
    \nb. “Would you like to scoot down just a little more dear?”<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

  5. As a sporty person, you need athletic support with:
    \na. one cup
    \nb. two cups<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

  6. When you’re feeling insecure, what you say to your best friend is:
    \na. nothing
    \nb. “Do I look fat?”<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

  7. You’ve slept with several hundred people, one term used to describe you would be:
    \na. sports legend
    \nb. tramp<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

  8. The age it hits home that junk food will devastate your body is:
    \na. 35
    \nb. 14<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

  9. When you hear the words “hand wash,” the first thing that comes to your mind is:
    \na. your car
    \nb. panty hose<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

  10. It’s the seventh game of the playoffs, bottom of the ninth, score tied. Bases are loaded with 2 outs. The man at bat has a .311 average against southpaws, and the pitcher is a lefty. Your mate turns to you and says, “Do you want a back rub?” You are:
    \na. too busy screaming at the TV to even hear the question
    \nb. daydreaming<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

  11. Your idea of basic pump is:
    \na. an athletic shoe made by Nike
    \nb. a heeled shoe made by Fayva<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

  12. Multiple Orgasms are something you:
    \na. give
    \nb. get<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ol>\n
    SCORING<\/b><\/div>\n

    a = 1 point, b = 2 points<\/p>\n

    0-12 Congratulations, you are a male. This means you have a greater lean-muscle-to-fat ratio, earn most of the money, and a select few of your sex can look forward to being president someday.<\/p>\n

    13-24 Congratulations, you are a female. This means you will live longer, have your choice of wearing either pants or a skirt in polite company and a select few of your sex can look forward to being president someday.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Aside from getting sterilized, your birth control options are: a. one b. almost a dozen When parking your car in a public garage you: a. toss your keys jauntily to the attendant b. hand your keys over politely You haven’t shaved in 4 days. The resulting stubble can be construed as: a. sexy b. gross […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[48],"tags":[699],"class_list":["post-2679","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-quiz","tag-gender"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2679","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2679"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2679\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2679"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2679"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2679"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}