{"id":2654,"date":"2015-01-10T16:14:52","date_gmt":"2015-01-10T14:14:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2654"},"modified":"2015-01-10T16:14:52","modified_gmt":"2015-01-10T14:14:52","slug":"american-logic","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2654","title":{"rendered":"American Logic"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last dime we have to make the down payment on a car.<\/li>\n<li>We yell for speed laws that will stop fast driving, then won&#8217;t buy a car if it can&#8217;t go over 100 miles an hour.<\/li>\n<li>We know the line-up of every baseball team in the American and National Leagues but don&#8217;t know half the words in the &#8220;Star Spangled Banner&#8221;.<\/li>\n<li>We&#8217;ll spend half a day looking for vitamin pills to make us live longer, then drive 90 miles an hour on slick pavement to make up for lost time.<\/li>\n<li>We tie up our dog while letting our sixteen year old son run wild.<\/li>\n<li>We will work hard on a farm so we can move into town where we can make more money so we can move back to the farm.<\/li>\n<li>In the office we talk about baseball, shopping or fishing, but when we are out at the game, the mall or on the lake, we talk about business.<\/li>\n<li>We&#8217;re the country that has more food to eat than any other country in the world and more diets to keep us from eating it.<\/li>\n<li>We&#8217;re supposed to be the most civilized Christian nation on earth, but we still can&#8217;t deliver payrolls without an armored car.<\/li>\n<li>We have more experts on marriage than any other country in the world and still have more divorces.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last dime we have to make the down payment on a car. We yell for speed laws that will stop fast driving, then won&#8217;t buy a car if it can&#8217;t go over 100 miles an hour. We know the line-up of every baseball [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[51],"tags":[132],"class_list":["post-2654","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-regional","tag-americans"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2654","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2654"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2654\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2654"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2654"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2654"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}