{"id":2650,"date":"2015-01-10T16:06:29","date_gmt":"2015-01-10T14:06:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2650"},"modified":"2015-01-10T16:06:29","modified_gmt":"2015-01-10T14:06:29","slug":"adult-resignation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2650","title":{"rendered":"Adult Resignation"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year old again.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>I want to go to McDonald&#8217;s and think that it&#8217;s a four star restaurant.<\/li>\n<li>I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples with rocks.<\/li>\n<li>I want to think M&#038;Ms are better than money because you can eat them.<\/li>\n<li>I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer&#8217;s day.<\/li>\n<li>I want to return to a time when life was simple.<\/li>\n<li>All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset.<\/li>\n<li>I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest and good.<\/li>\n<li>I want to believe that anything is possible.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>So&#8230;.here&#8217;s my checkbook and my car keys, my credit card bills and my 401K statements. I am officially resigning from adulthood. And if you want to discuss this further, you&#8217;ll have to catch me first, cause, &#8220;Tag! You&#8217;re it.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year old again. I want to go to McDonald&#8217;s and think that it&#8217;s a four star restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples with rocks. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[22],"tags":[359],"class_list":["post-2650","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-families","tag-children"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2650","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2650"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2650\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2650"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2650"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2650"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}