We understand how busy college students can be this time of year. We hope this form letter will help you keep in touch with your parents. Simply check or fill-in appropriate blanks.<\/p>\n
Date: ______________<\/p>\n
Dear Parent(s),<\/p>\n
I am too busy to write, but this checklist covers most of the topics of interest to both of us.<\/p>\n
__ What?
\n__ I am in love with myself
\n__ I am in love!
\n__ I am engaged
\n__ I got married last weekend<\/li>\n<\/p>\n
__ Worships the ground I walk on
\n__ Gave me a black eye
\n__ Committed suicide and left a note saying I was the reason
\n__ Is afraid of the dark and wants to sleep with me in my bed???
\n__ Has fleas<\/li>\n<\/p>\n
__ Sadistic water walkers
\n__ Mental institution escapees
\n__ Brain dead nerds
\n__ Super oxygen thieves<\/li>\n<\/p>\n
__ I wrecked the car
\n__ I can’t use your credit card because I have exceeded the credit limit
\n__ You are going to have a grandchild
\n__ False alarm – you are NOT going to have a grandchild<\/li>\n<\/p>\n
__ Is great!
\n__ Even makes me appreciate your cooking
\n__ I have had pizzas for the last eleven meals<\/li>\n<\/p>\n
__ I have gained _____ pounds
\n__ My roommate is in the hospital with meningitis
\n__ My HIV test was: (check one) ____ positive ____ negative
\n__ I died yesterday!<\/li>\n<\/p>\n
__ I am making all A’s
\n__ I am not being properly challenged
\n__ I will be home after this semester<\/li>\n<\/p>\n
__ Night and day
\n__ All the time
\n__ 80 hours a week
\n__ Only on Sunday afternoon
\n__ None of the above<\/li>\n<\/p>\n
__ I read my Bible everyday
\n__ I can’t read
\n__ Someone stole my Bible while I was at one of the local bars<\/li>\n<\/p>\n
__ My glasses
\n__ My paper that was due yesterday
\n__ The clothes you washed for me
\n__ My (girlfriend’s) birth control pills
\n__ The check to cover my delinquent tuition payment
\n__ Other _____________________________________________<\/p>\n
Please send above items by Federal Express (Priority One) or UPS (Blue)<\/li>\n<\/p>\n
__ My white underwear is now _________________
\n__ I am saving money by not using detergent
\n__ Don’t worry, I washed my clothes last semester
\n__ I hang my clothes out the window when it rains<\/li>\n<\/p>\n
__ Can pass your “white glove” test
\n__ Is only _____% full
\n__ Could not be located last Saturday night
\n__ Was rented by the ROTC for hazardous terrain training<\/li>\n<\/p>\n
__ I don’t inhale
\n__ I only go to meet people
\n__ Haven’t been to one since this morning<\/li>\n<\/p>\n
__ Miss me
\n__ Can live without me
\n__ Are not overdoing the celebration of my absence<\/li>\n<\/p>\n
__ Your Daughter,
\n__ Your Son,
\n__ Yours,<\/p>\n
__________________________________________________
\nSignature (Scribble if Pre-Med or Pre-Law)
\nNote: Witnesses are not required for your mark (“X”)<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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