{"id":2622,"date":"2015-01-10T15:32:21","date_gmt":"2015-01-10T13:32:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2622"},"modified":"2015-01-10T15:32:21","modified_gmt":"2015-01-10T13:32:21","slug":"osama-bin-laden-to-stand-trial-for-kicking-a-dog","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2622","title":{"rendered":"Osama Bin Laden to Stand Trial for Kicking a Dog"},"content":{"rendered":"<div align=\"center\">Osama Bin Laden to Stand Trial<br \/>\nfor Kicking a Dog<\/div>\n<p>The terrorist Osama Bin Laden was captured in his Afghan outpost by the FBI on charges of &#8220;animal cruelty.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Director Jacque Schultz reported, &#8220;We&#8217;ve suspected for a long time that a man who blows up embassies for a living might also be a closet dog kicker.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Displaying satellite photographs, Schultz explained, &#8220;You can see from the satellite scan Bin Laden forcibly kicking a stray dog.&#8221;  Visibly revulsed, Schultz continued, &#8220;How could one man such a monster?  How many other helpless animals have felt his sandal against their flanks?  We&#8217;re just pleased that we could bring him to justice before he hurt a kitty.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Bin Laden is also charged with writing the song &#8220;Achy Breaky Heart&#8221; and creating the &#8220;Macarena.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Osama Bin Laden to Stand Trial for Kicking a Dog The terrorist Osama Bin Laden was captured in his Afghan outpost by the FBI on charges of &#8220;animal cruelty.&#8221; The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Director Jacque Schultz reported, &#8220;We&#8217;ve suspected for a long time that a man who blows up embassies [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[44],"tags":[139],"class_list":["post-2622","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-osama","tag-animal-cruelty"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2622","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2622"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2622\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2622"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2622"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2622"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}