{"id":2547,"date":"2015-01-10T14:13:42","date_gmt":"2015-01-10T12:13:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2547"},"modified":"2015-01-10T14:13:42","modified_gmt":"2015-01-10T12:13:42","slug":"how-to-cook-a-turkey","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2547","title":{"rendered":"How to Cook a Turkey"},"content":{"rendered":"<div align=\"center\"><b>aka Thanksgiving Turkey for Dummies<\/b><\/div>\n<ul>\n<p><li>Step 1 :<br \/>\nGo buy a turkey <\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Step 2 :<br \/>\nTake a drink of whiskey <\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Step 3 :<br \/>\nPut turkey in the oven <\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Step 4 :<br \/>\nTake another two drinks of whiskey <\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Step 5 :<br \/>\nSet the degree at 375 ovens <\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Step 6 :<br \/>\nTake three more whiskeys of drink <\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Step 7 :<br \/>\nTurn oven the on <\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Step 8 :<br \/>\nTake four whisks of drinkey <\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Step 9 :<br \/>\nTurk the bastey <\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Step 10 :<br \/>\nWhiskey another bottle of get <\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Step 11 :<br \/>\nStick a turkey in the thermometer<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Step 12 :<br \/>\nGlass yourself another pour of whiskey<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Step 13 :<br \/>\nBake the whiskey for four hours <\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Step 14 :<br \/>\nTake the oven out of the turkey <\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Step 15 :<br \/>\nTake the oven out of the turkey <\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Step 16 :<br \/>\nFloor the turkey up off of the pick <\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Step 17 :<br \/>\nTurk the carvey <\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Step 18 :<br \/>\nGet yourself another scottle of botch<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Step 19 :<br \/>\nTet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Step 20 :<br \/>\nBless the saying, pass and eat out <\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>aka Thanksgiving Turkey for Dummies Step 1 : Go buy a turkey Step 2 : Take a drink of whiskey Step 3 : Put turkey in the oven Step 4 : Take another two drinks of whiskey Step 5 : Set the degree at 375 ovens Step 6 : Take three more whiskeys of drink [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[49],"tags":[439,1467],"class_list":["post-2547","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-recipes","tag-cooking","tag-turkey"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2547","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2547"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2547\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2547"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2547"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2547"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}