{"id":2484,"date":"2015-01-09T22:45:55","date_gmt":"2015-01-09T20:45:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2484"},"modified":"2015-01-09T22:45:55","modified_gmt":"2015-01-09T20:45:55","slug":"things-a-mother-would-never-say","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2484","title":{"rendered":"Things a Mother Would Never Say"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>&#8220;How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Just leave all the lights on &#8230; it makes the house look more cheery&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Let me smell that shirt &#8212; Yeah, it&#8217;s good for another week&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I&#8217;ll be glad to feed and walk him every day&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Well, if Timmy&#8217;s Mom says it&#8217;s OK, that&#8217;s good enough for me.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It&#8217;s not like I&#8217;m running a prison around here.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I don&#8217;t have a tissue with me &#8230; just use your sleeve&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Don&#8217;t bother wearing a jacket &#8211; the wind-chill is bound to improve&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?&#8221; &#8220;Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too&#8221; &#8220;Just leave all the lights on &#8230; it makes the house look more cheery&#8221; &#8220;Let me smell that shirt &#8212; Yeah, it&#8217;s good for another week&#8221; &#8220;Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[41],"tags":[1041],"class_list":["post-2484","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mother","tag-motherhood"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2484","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2484"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2484\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2484"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2484"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2484"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}