{"id":2482,"date":"2015-01-09T22:45:07","date_gmt":"2015-01-09T20:45:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2482"},"modified":"2015-01-09T22:45:07","modified_gmt":"2015-01-09T20:45:07","slug":"more-of-what-my-mother-taught-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2482","title":{"rendered":"More of What My Mother Taught Me"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<p><li>My Mother taught me LOGIC&#8230;<br \/>\n&#8220;If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can&#8217;t go to the store with me.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>My Mother taught me MEDICINE&#8230;<br \/>\n&#8220;If you don&#8217;t stop crossing your eyes, they&#8217;re going to freeze that way.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>My Mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD&#8230;<br \/>\n&#8220;If you don&#8217;t pass your spelling test, you&#8217;ll never get a good job!&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>My Mother taught me ESP&#8230;<br \/>\n&#8220;Put your sweater on; don&#8217;t you think that I know when you&#8217;re cold?&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>My Mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE&#8230;<br \/>\n&#8220;What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you&#8230;Don&#8217;t talk back to me!&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>My Mother taught me HUMOR&#8230;<br \/>\n&#8220;When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don&#8217;t come running to me.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT&#8230;<br \/>\n&#8220;If you don&#8217;t eat your vegetables, you&#8217;ll never grow up.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>My mother taught me ABOUT SEX&#8230;<br \/>\n&#8220;How do you think you got here?&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>My mother taught me about GENETICS&#8230;<br \/>\n&#8220;You are just like your father!&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>My mother taught me about my ROOTS&#8230;<br \/>\n&#8220;Do you think you were born in a barn?&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>My mother taught me about the WISDOM of AGE&#8230;<br \/>\n&#8220;When you get to be my age, you will understand.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION&#8230;<br \/>\n&#8220;Just wait until your father gets home.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>My mother taught me about RECEIVING&#8230;<br \/>\n&#8220;You are going to get it when we get home.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>And my all time favorite thing &#8211; JUSTICE&#8230;<br \/>\n&#8220;One day you will have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU..then you&#8217;ll see what it&#8217;s like.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>My Mother taught me LOGIC&#8230; &#8220;If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can&#8217;t go to the store with me.&#8221; My Mother taught me MEDICINE&#8230; &#8220;If you don&#8217;t stop crossing your eyes, they&#8217;re going to freeze that way.&#8221; My Mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD&#8230; &#8220;If you don&#8217;t pass your spelling test, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[41],"tags":[909,1041],"class_list":["post-2482","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mother","tag-lessons","tag-motherhood"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2482","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2482"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2482\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2482"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2482"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2482"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}