{"id":2404,"date":"2015-01-07T23:09:21","date_gmt":"2015-01-07T21:09:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2404"},"modified":"2015-01-07T23:09:21","modified_gmt":"2015-01-07T21:09:21","slug":"recent-orders-to-troops-in-the-middle-east","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2404","title":{"rendered":"Recent Orders to Troops in the Middle East"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>To: All Commands<br \/>\nSubject: Inappropriate T-Shirts<\/p>\n<p>Ref: ComMidEastFor Inst 16134\/\/24 K<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>All commanders promulgate upon receipt.<\/li>\n<\/li>\n<p>The following T-shirts are no longer to be worn on or off base by any military or civilian personnel serving in the Middle East:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>&#8220;Eat Pork Or Die&#8221; [both English and Arabic versions]<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Shrine Busters&#8221; [Various. Show burning minarets or bomb\/artillery shells impacting Islamic shrines. Some with unit logos.]<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Napalm, Sticks Like Crazy&#8221; [Both English and Arabic versions]<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Goat &#8211; it isn&#8217;t just for breakfast any more.&#8221; [Both English and Arabic  versions]<\/li>\n<li>The road to Paradise begins with me.&#8221; [Mostly Arabic versions but some in English. Some show sniper scope cross-hairs]<\/li>\n<li>Guns don&#8217;t kill people. I kill people.&#8221; [Both Arabic and English versions]<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Pork. The other white meat.&#8217; [Arabic version]<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Infidel&#8221; [English, Arabic and other coalition force languages.]<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>The above T-shirts are to be removed from Post Exchanges upon receipt of this directive.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<li>The following signs are to be removed upon receipt of this message:\n<ul>\n<li>&#8220;Islamic Religious Services Will Be Held at the Firing Range At 0800 Daily.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Do we really need &#8216;smart bombs&#8217; to drop on these dumb bastards?&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>All commands are instructed to implement sensitivity training upon receipt.<\/li>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>To: All Commands Subject: Inappropriate T-Shirts Ref: ComMidEastFor Inst 16134\/\/24 K All commanders promulgate upon receipt. The following T-shirts are no longer to be worn on or off base by any military or civilian personnel serving in the Middle East: &#8220;Eat Pork Or Die&#8221; [both English and Arabic versions] &#8220;Shrine Busters&#8221; [Various. Show burning minarets [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpmdr_menu":1,"wpmdr_menu_extended":{"individualPostRemove":1,"individualPostRemoveDate":1,"individualPostRemoveAuthor":1,"individualPostYoastRemovePublished":1,"individualPostYoastRemoveModified":1},"footnotes":""},"categories":[38],"tags":[1009],"class_list":["post-2404","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mil","tag-middle-east"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2404","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2404"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2404\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2404"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2404"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2404"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}