{"id":2394,"date":"2015-01-07T23:01:00","date_gmt":"2015-01-07T21:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2394"},"modified":"2015-01-07T23:01:00","modified_gmt":"2015-01-07T21:01:00","slug":"a-combined-operation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2394","title":{"rendered":"A Combined Operation?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>There is a lot of talk about the United Nations creating a combined strike force with troops from several nations included in it. Could it work?  Let&#8217;s take a look at one operation. A combined force beach landing on a tropical island. When the troops hit the beach&#8230;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>The Royal Marines go fishing.<\/li>\n<li>The US Marines wait for CNN to arrive.<\/li>\n<li>The French don&#8217;t care whose beach it is; it&#8217;s French territory now, and say the English gave them no other choice.<\/li>\n<li>The Canadians watch the Americans very closely, then neglect to guard their landing strip.<\/li>\n<li>The Dutch have a beach party and smoke some dope saying the English don&#8217;t understand them.<\/li>\n<li>The Italians go sunbathing.<\/li>\n<li>The Germans land and build a car factory.<\/li>\n<li>The West Indians go looking for the Dutch.<\/li>\n<li>The Austrians just watch the Russians and Germans.<\/li>\n<li>The Chinese win the natives hearts and minds then kill them.<\/li>\n<li>The SEALs arrive after dark and kill anyone who is not a SEAL.<\/li>\n<li>The Aussies and Kiwis land then start fighting each other over a sheep.<\/li>\n<li>The South Americans send a contingent of 2000 generals.<\/li>\n<li>The South Africans start shooting at anyone with a tan.<\/li>\n<li>The Saudi&#8217;s start drilling for oil.<\/li>\n<li>The Russians open a chain of massage parlours.<\/li>\n<li>The Brit airborne troops get charged with murder even though they have not opened fire yet.<\/li>\n<li>The Spanish are late.<\/li>\n<li>The Portuguese are late but blame the Spaniards.<\/li>\n<li>Delta Force makes a movie about the landing.<\/li>\n<li>The Greeks and Turks turn up then send a bill to the Yanks and Brits.<\/li>\n<li>The British Army cannot come because all six of them have flu.<\/li>\n<li>The Japanese don&#8217;t know who owns what ships and decide to sink them all.<\/li>\n<li>The Californian National Guard contingent won&#8217;t land until someone opens a Starbucks.<\/li>\n<li>The New Yorkers paint their Amtrak&#8217;s yellow and will take you ashore for 50 bucks.<\/li>\n<li>The Irish Army will be late because they say they are stll celebrating St. Patrick&#8217;s Day.<\/li>\n<li>The Israeli&#8217;s start building a kibbutz and shell the Palestinians as a precaution.<\/li>\n<li>The Scandinavians like it off shore and stay there killing whales for the Japanese.<\/li>\n<li>The Polish tunnel under the beach looking for coal.<\/li>\n<li>The Palestinians say it used to be theirs but the English gave it away.<\/li>\n<li>The Oklahomans have no damn idea what a beach is.<\/li>\n<li>The Scottish claim to have found the beach first but accuse the English of stealing it.<\/li>\n<li>The Texans look for anyone bad mouthing them.<\/li>\n<li>The Mexicans invade Arizona by mistake.<\/li>\n<li>The Welsh say it&#8217;s King Arthur&#8217;s last resting place but the English stole it.<\/li>\n<li>The Swiss apply for a bank charter.<\/li>\n<li>The Libyans blow up two UN planes.<\/li>\n<li>The UN will send an Ambassador if the member states pay their dues.<\/li>\n<li>The Kentuckians open a KFC.<\/li>\n<li>The Panamanians ask the U.S. what they should do.<\/li>\n<li>The Floridians demand a recount and free Prozac.<\/li>\n<li>The EU want to set up a commission of 50,000 administrators paid for by the English.<\/li>\n<li>The Swedes just want to screw.<\/li>\n<li>The Finns build a sauna and break out the beer. Did anyone say party?<\/li>\n<li>The Michigan contingent issue a safety recall and sue General Motors.<\/li>\n<li>The Mattel Corp. sends 10,000 GI Joe&#8217;s and one Barbie.<\/li>\n<li>Some guy from Tennessee swears that Elvis and Jimmy Dean are just over the dunes.<\/li>\n<li>The Romanians and Albanians finally arrive and surrender.<\/li>\n<li>The Coloradans cut off the Kansan&#8217;s water supply.<\/li>\n<li>H. M. The Queen will give anyone a Knighthood if they can grab her a few hundred acres or find a job for Charles.<\/li>\n<li>The New Hampshire contingent declares that everyone there is Sooooo Cruel and open a soup kitchen.<\/li>\n<li>The North Koreans have no idea what is going on but blame America anyway.<\/li>\n<li>Washington State National Guard builds a monument to Bill Gates.<\/li>\n<li>The Pakistanis build a Motel Six, a convenience store and gas station.<\/li>\n<li>Jimmy Carter arrives and declares peace.<\/li>\n<li>Barack Obama is out playing golf and his aide-de-camp can&#8217;t reach him. Since his aide doesn&#8217;t know where the island is, so he orders the U.S. Air Force to bomb Hawaii.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There is a lot of talk about the United Nations creating a combined strike force with troops from several nations included in it. Could it work? Let&#8217;s take a look at one operation. A combined force beach landing on a tropical island. When the troops hit the beach&#8230; The Royal Marines go fishing. The US [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[38],"tags":[396,1012],"class_list":["post-2394","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mil","tag-combined-operations","tag-military-exercise"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2394","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2394"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2394\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2394"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2394"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2394"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}