{"id":2375,"date":"2015-01-06T22:31:48","date_gmt":"2015-01-06T20:31:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2375"},"modified":"2015-01-06T22:31:48","modified_gmt":"2015-01-06T20:31:48","slug":"if-microsoft-were-located-in-georgia","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2375","title":{"rendered":"If Microsoft Was Located In Georgia&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Their No. 1 product would be &#8220;Microsoft Winders&#8221;.<\/li>\n<li>Instead of an hourglass icon you&#8217;d get an empty beer bottle.<\/li>\n<li>Occasionally, you&#8217;d bring up a window that was covered with a Hefty bag and some duct tape.<\/li>\n<li>Instead of &#8220;Yes&#8221;, &#8220;No&#8221;, or &#8220;Cancel&#8221;, dialog boxes would give you the choice of &#8220;Aww-right&#8221;, &#8220;Naw&#8221;, or &#8220;Git&#8221;.<\/li>\n<li> Instead of &#8220;Ta-Dah!&#8221;, the opening sound would be &#8220;Dueling Banjos&#8221;.<\/li>\n<li> The &#8220;Recycle Bin&#8221; would be an outhouse.<\/li>\n<li>Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player, you&#8217;d hear &#8220;Freebird!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Instead of &#8220;Start Me Up&#8221;, the Winders theme song would be &#8220;Boot Scootin&#8217; Boogie&#8221;.<\/li>\n<li>Powerpoint would be named &#8220;ParPawnt&#8221;.<\/li>\n<li>Instead of &#8220;VP&#8221;, Microsoft big shots would be called &#8220;Cuz&#8221;.<\/li>\n<li>Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am.<\/li>\n<li>Daisy Duke screen saver.<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Well, the first thing you know old Bill&#8217;s a billionaire&#8230;&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor-Pull Simulator.<\/li>\n<li>Microsoft CEO &#8220;Billy-Bob&#8221; (a.k.a. &#8220;Bubba&#8221;) Gates.<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;ParPawnt&#8221; would have a &#8220;Pond Scum&#8221; and a &#8220;Junk Yard&#8221; presentation template.<\/li>\n<li> One wrong turn while surfing the web would send you face to face with a 12 gauge shotgun.<\/li>\n<li> &#8220;This computer protected by Smith and Wesson&#8221; screen saver.<\/li>\n<li> Directions to Corporate Headquarters &#8211; &#8220;Down the road a block or so&#8221;.<\/li>\n<li> Microsoft Word includes a phonetic spell checker-&#8220;Hookt on fonics werkt 4 me&#8221;.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Their No. 1 product would be &#8220;Microsoft Winders&#8221;. Instead of an hourglass icon you&#8217;d get an empty beer bottle. Occasionally, you&#8217;d bring up a window that was covered with a Hefty bag and some duct tape. Instead of &#8220;Yes&#8221;, &#8220;No&#8221;, or &#8220;Cancel&#8221;, dialog boxes would give you the choice of &#8220;Aww-right&#8221;, &#8220;Naw&#8221;, or &#8220;Git&#8221;. Instead [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[37],"tags":[711,771,1005,1239],"class_list":["post-2375","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-micro","tag-georgia","tag-headquarters","tag-microsoft","tag-regional"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2375","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2375"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2375\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2375"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2375"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2375"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}