{"id":2359,"date":"2015-01-06T20:45:36","date_gmt":"2015-01-06T18:45:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2359"},"modified":"2015-01-06T20:45:36","modified_gmt":"2015-01-06T18:45:36","slug":"differences-in-the-middle-ages-if-microsoft-had-existed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2359","title":{"rendered":"Differences in the Middle Ages if Microsoft Had Existed"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Chastity belts require a password rather than a key.<\/li>\n<li>Last year&#8217;s pitchfork not compatible with this year&#8217;s hay.<\/li>\n<li>Lord Gates claims he has no memory of any memo describing his intention to &#8220;wipeth my arse with the Magna Carta.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>The &#8220;Good Plague&#8221; hoax.<\/li>\n<li>Horses routinely stop in mid-stride, and require a boot to the rear to start again.<\/li>\n<li>The Microsoft Rack would work, but it would be 3 times larger than it should be and never completely kill anyone.<\/li>\n<li>Forget about William Tell; William Gates shoots Apple off the head of Steve Jobs.<\/li>\n<li>Use of a large, clumsy broadsword instead of yet-to-be-invented scissors helps explain Lord Bill&#8217;s haircut.<\/li>\n<li>Archbishop of Canterbury gets hit in the face with a pie.<\/li>\n<li>Stained Glass Windows MCCCXXXXV actually not released until Spring of MCCCXXXXVI.<\/li>\n<li>The Y1K bug threatens to cripple high-tech industries, like stonemasonry and weaving.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Chastity belts require a password rather than a key. Last year&#8217;s pitchfork not compatible with this year&#8217;s hay. Lord Gates claims he has no memory of any memo describing his intention to &#8220;wipeth my arse with the Magna Carta.&#8221; The &#8220;Good Plague&#8221; hoax. Horses routinely stop in mid-stride, and require a boot to the rear [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[37],"tags":[510,1005,1008],"class_list":["post-2359","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-micro","tag-differences","tag-microsoft","tag-middle-ages"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2359","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2359"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2359\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2359"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2359"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2359"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}