{"id":2325,"date":"2015-01-06T20:16:30","date_gmt":"2015-01-06T18:16:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2325"},"modified":"2015-01-06T20:16:30","modified_gmt":"2015-01-06T18:16:30","slug":"the-top-10-things-that-would-change-if-microsoft-built-cars","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2325","title":{"rendered":"Things that Would Change if Microsoft Built Cars"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>A particular year&#8217;s model would not be available for at least 2 years until after it was scheduled to go into production.<\/li>\n<li>Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.<\/li>\n<li>Occasionally your car would just die for no reason, and you would have to restart it. For some bizarre reason, you accept this.<\/li>\n<li>You couldn&#8217;t have more than one person in the car unless you purchased a CarXP or Car NT, and then you would have to buy extra seats.<\/li>\n<li>Linux would build a car that ran on water, was twice as reliable, and 10 times as fast, but would only run on 5% of the roads.<\/li>\n<li>The oil, gas, alternator and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single &#8220;General Car Fault&#8221; light.<\/li>\n<li>People would be excited about the &#8216;new&#8217; features in Microsoft cars, forgetting that these features had been available in other cars a decade ago.<\/li>\n<li>We&#8217;d all have to switch to Microsoft Gas.<\/li>\n<li>The US Government would GET subsidies from Auto Manufacturers instead of GIVING them.<\/li>\n<li>New seats would force everyone to get the same size butt!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A particular year&#8217;s model would not be available for at least 2 years until after it was scheduled to go into production. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car. Occasionally your car would just die for no reason, and you would have to restart it. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[37],"tags":[318,347,1005],"class_list":["post-2325","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-micro","tag-cars","tag-changes","tag-microsoft"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2325","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2325"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2325\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2325"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2325"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2325"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}