{"id":2315,"date":"2015-01-06T17:20:18","date_gmt":"2015-01-06T15:20:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2315"},"modified":"2015-01-06T17:20:18","modified_gmt":"2015-01-06T15:20:18","slug":"if-bill-gates-wrote-a-book-on-wicca","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2315","title":{"rendered":"If Bill Gates Wrote a Book on Wicca"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>The book would be called Windows to the Goddess.<\/li>\n<li>Iconology would be a major chapter.<\/li>\n<li>A revised edition would be released approximately every 6 months, without which your magik would no longer work.<\/li>\n<li>Your broom would crash at least once a week.<\/li>\n<li>Cauldrons would be called recycle bins.<\/li>\n<li>A Book of Shadows would be called a Folder of Magik.<\/li>\n<li>A free high-speed connection spell would come with every book.<\/li>\n<li>Every now and then your circle would collapse and you would have to perform the re-boot ritual to get it working again.<\/li>\n<li>If you used the more powerful NT Magik, all circles within a 5 mile radius would go down.<\/li>\n<li>At least once a month you would have to re-install your spells into your Folder of Magik.<\/li>\n<li>You would have to use a start ritual to exit your circle.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The book would be called Windows to the Goddess. Iconology would be a major chapter. A revised edition would be released approximately every 6 months, without which your magik would no longer work. Your broom would crash at least once a week. Cauldrons would be called recycle bins. A Book of Shadows would be called [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpmdr_menu":1,"wpmdr_menu_extended":{"individualPostRemove":1,"individualPostRemoveDate":1,"individualPostRemoveAuthor":1,"individualPostYoastRemovePublished":1,"individualPostYoastRemoveModified":1},"footnotes":""},"categories":[37],"tags":[235,260,1521],"class_list":["post-2315","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-micro","tag-bill-gates","tag-book","tag-wicca"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2315","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2315"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2315\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2315"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2315"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2315"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}