{"id":2287,"date":"2015-01-06T15:39:19","date_gmt":"2015-01-06T13:39:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2287"},"modified":"2015-01-06T15:39:19","modified_gmt":"2015-01-06T13:39:19","slug":"viagra","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2287","title":{"rendered":"Viagra and its Proposed Cousins"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Viagra: The drug from Pfizer, which is currently being prescribed to increase sexual performance. It works by rushing blood to the genitals. With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today&#8217;s society.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>DIRECTRA &#8211; a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.<\/li>\n<li>PROJECTRA &#8211; Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one.<\/li>\n<li>CHILDAGRA &#8211; Men taking this drug reported a sudden, over-whelming urge to perform more child-care tasks &#8211; especially cleaning up spills and &#8220;little&#8221; accidents.<\/li>\n<li>COMPLIMENTRA &#8211; In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men administered  this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing.<\/li>\n<li>BUYAGRA &#8211; Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after talking this drug for only two days. Still to be seen: whether the drug can be continued for a period longer than your favorite store&#8217;s return limit.<\/li>\n<li>NEGA-VIAGRA &#8211; Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently undergoing clinical trials on sitting U.S. presidents.<\/li>\n<li>NEGA-SPORTAGRA &#8211; This drug had the strange effect of making men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family members.<\/li>\n<li>FLATULAGRA &#8211; This complex drug converts men&#8217;s noxious intestinal gases  back into food solids. Special bonus: Dosage can be doubled for long car rides.<\/li>\n<li>FLYAGRA &#8211; This drug has been showing great promise in treating men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder). Especially useful for men on Viagra.<\/li>\n<li>PRYAGRA &#8211; About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men in the test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs of other people. Note: Apparent overdose turned three test subjects into&#8221;special prosecutors.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>LIAGRA &#8211; This drug causes men to be less than truthful when being asked about their sexual affairs. Will be available in Regular, Grand Jury and Presidential Strength versions.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Viagra: The drug from Pfizer, which is currently being prescribed to increase sexual performance. It works by rushing blood to the genitals. With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today&#8217;s society. DIRECTRA &#8211; a dose of this drug given to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[35],"tags":[1063],"class_list":["post-2287","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-medical","tag-new-drugs"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2287","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2287"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2287\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2287"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2287"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2287"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}