{"id":2275,"date":"2015-01-06T15:26:09","date_gmt":"2015-01-06T13:26:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2275"},"modified":"2015-01-06T15:26:09","modified_gmt":"2015-01-06T13:26:09","slug":"signs-you-need-a-new-doctor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2275","title":{"rendered":"Signs You Need a New Doctor"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>He calls you at two in the morning &#8220;just to talk.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Instead of rubber surgical gloves he wears oven mitts.<\/li>\n<li>He keeps accidentally referring to himself as &#8220;the defendant.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>After examining you, he says, &#8220;Now do me.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>He thinks Eastern Medicine was developed in Long Island.<\/li>\n<li>He keeps accidentally referring to your legs as &#8220;drumsticks.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>His examination room is Room 201 at the No-Tell Motel.<\/li>\n<li>He introduces you to his anesthesiologist, &#8220;Doctor Jim Beam.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Before surgery, he asks if you want this &#8220;to go.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>He tries to color your X-rays with crayons.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>He calls you at two in the morning &#8220;just to talk.&#8221; Instead of rubber surgical gloves he wears oven mitts. He keeps accidentally referring to himself as &#8220;the defendant.&#8221; After examining you, he says, &#8220;Now do me.&#8221; He thinks Eastern Medicine was developed in Long Island. He keeps accidentally referring to your legs as &#8220;drumsticks.&#8221; [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[35],"tags":[526],"class_list":["post-2275","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-medical","tag-doctor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2275","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2275"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2275\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2275"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2275"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2275"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}