{"id":2265,"date":"2015-01-06T15:18:06","date_gmt":"2015-01-06T13:18:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2265"},"modified":"2015-01-06T15:18:06","modified_gmt":"2015-01-06T13:18:06","slug":"overheard-at-medieval-medical-school","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2265","title":{"rendered":"Overheard at Medieval Medical School"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>&#8220;Today class, let&#8217;s open our convicted criminals to rib two.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Don&#8217;t bite it! You need to swallow it alive for it to work!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;They should translate these obscure medical terms into something easy, like Latin.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;It may seem like pointless superstition to you youngsters, but I haven&#8217;t washed these hands since my first delivery 37 years ago.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;What do you mean we&#8217;re out of wild boar snout?!?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Headache? Take two spotted salamanders and call me in the morning.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Arthur, Schmarthur. What kind of insurance dost thou have?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Verily, it would seem our instructor Master Bush knoweth not the name of *any* disease!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Good woman Thurmond, to you a son is born. &#8216;Strom&#8217; shall he be called.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Put down that dwarf and hand me the pliers!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Now, remove the speculum from the fire and insert it thusly&#8230;&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;No, no, push that yellow stuff back in. That&#8217;s pus from the *good* fairy!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Good knight, thy speed at treating boils is unsurpassed in all the kingdom! Thou shalt be called &#8216;Sir Lance-a-lot&#8217;.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Come now Hypoglycies, how can too much sugar possibly be bad for you?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Gesundheit! Now be sure to wipe that off his liver.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;Today class, let&#8217;s open our convicted criminals to rib two.&#8221; &#8220;Don&#8217;t bite it! You need to swallow it alive for it to work!&#8221; &#8220;They should translate these obscure medical terms into something easy, like Latin.&#8221; &#8220;It may seem like pointless superstition to you youngsters, but I haven&#8217;t washed these hands since my first delivery 37 [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[35],"tags":[984,987],"class_list":["post-2265","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-medical","tag-medical-school","tag-medieval"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2265","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2265"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2265\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2265"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2265"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2265"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}