{"id":2263,"date":"2015-01-06T15:16:19","date_gmt":"2015-01-06T13:16:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2263"},"modified":"2015-01-06T15:16:19","modified_gmt":"2015-01-06T13:16:19","slug":"medical-truths","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2263","title":{"rendered":"Medical Truths"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>The patient furthest away from the nurses&#8217; station rings the call bell more often than the patient nearest to the nurses&#8217; station.<\/li>\n<li>You always remember &#8220;just one more thing&#8221; you need after you&#8217;ve gowned, gloved, and masked and gone into that isolation room.<\/li>\n<li>The correct depth of compression in adult CPR is a bit less than the depth you just reached when you broke those ribs.<\/li>\n<li>When you cancel extra staff because it&#8217;s so quiet, you are guaranteed a rash of admissions.<\/li>\n<li>If you wear a new white uniform, expect to be thrown up on.  Corollary: Residents always poop on your brand new shoes.<\/li>\n<li>There is always a way, and it usually doesn&#8217;t work.<\/li>\n<li>When management smiles at you, be afraid, very afraid &#8230; <\/li>\n<li>Staffing will gladly send you three aides&#8211;but you have to float two of your RNs.<\/li>\n<li>As soon as you discontinue the IV line, more fluids will be ordered.<\/li>\n<li>Mandatory meetings are always scheduled after you&#8217;ve had the night from hell and just want to go home to bed.<\/li>\n<li>You always forget what it was you wanted after you get to the supply room.  You always remember when you get back to the other end &#8230;<\/li>\n<li>Doctors only ask your name when the patient isn&#8217;t doing well.<\/li>\n<li>Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the boss is watching.<\/li>\n<li>The more sophisticated the equipment, the longer it takes to get repaired.<\/li>\n<li>Experience is something you don&#8217;t get until just after you need it.<\/li>\n<li>As soon as you&#8217;ve ordered the pizzas, 25 patients show up at the ER registration desk along with three ambulances all with cardiac arrests!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The patient furthest away from the nurses&#8217; station rings the call bell more often than the patient nearest to the nurses&#8217; station. You always remember &#8220;just one more thing&#8221; you need after you&#8217;ve gowned, gloved, and masked and gone into that isolation room. The correct depth of compression in adult CPR is a bit less [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[35],"tags":[1087,1466],"class_list":["post-2263","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-medical","tag-observations","tag-truths"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2263","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2263"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2263\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2263"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2263"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2263"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}