{"id":2245,"date":"2015-01-06T12:30:51","date_gmt":"2015-01-06T10:30:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2245"},"modified":"2015-01-06T12:30:51","modified_gmt":"2015-01-06T10:30:51","slug":"you-might-be-in-the-health-care-field-if","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2245","title":{"rendered":"You Might be in the Health Care Field If&#8230;."},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal is perfectly normal to you.<\/li>\n<li>You find humor in other people&#8217;s stupidity.<\/li>\n<li>You believe in serial spraying of Prozac.<\/li>\n<li>Your idea of comforting a child is placing him in a papoose restraint.<\/li>\n<li>You believe that &#8220;Shallow Gene Pool&#8221; should be a diagnosis.<\/li>\n<li>You believe that the government should require a permit to reproduce.<\/li>\n<li>You think unspeakable evil will befall you is anyone says: &#8220;Boy, it sure is quiet around here.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>When you are out in public, you compliment complete strangers on their veins.<\/li>\n<li>You have ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled: &#8220;Suicide &#8211; Getting It Right The First Time.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>You have ever had to leave a patient&#8217;s room before laughing hysterically.<\/li>\n<li>You think caffeine should be available in IV form.<\/li>\n<li>You have ever restrained someone, and it was not a sexual experience.<\/li>\n<li>You commonly utter the phrase: &#8220;What changed tonight at 2am that made this emergency after 6 months?!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>You believe that &#8220;Too Stupid To Live&#8221; should be a diagnosis.<\/li>\n<li>You think putting a Valium salt lick in the ER waiting room is a novel idea.<\/li>\n<li>When you mention vegetables, you are not thinking of a food group.<\/li>\n<li>You have been exposed to so many x-rays you don&#8217;t even bother with birth control.<\/li>\n<li>You have used the words &#8220;Healthcare Reform&#8221; to strike fear in the hearts of your co-workers.<\/li>\n<li>You have heard, &#8220;Why, I don&#8217;t know how that got stuck there&#8221; too many times.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal is perfectly normal to you. You find humor in other people&#8217;s stupidity. You believe in serial spraying of Prozac. Your idea of comforting a child is placing him in a papoose restraint. You believe that &#8220;Shallow Gene Pool&#8221; should be a diagnosis. You believe that the government should require [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[35],"tags":[772],"class_list":["post-2245","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-medical","tag-healthcare-workers"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2245","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2245"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2245\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2245"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2245"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2245"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}