{"id":2235,"date":"2015-01-06T12:23:09","date_gmt":"2015-01-06T10:23:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2235"},"modified":"2015-01-06T12:23:09","modified_gmt":"2015-01-06T10:23:09","slug":"more-drugs-in-development","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2235","title":{"rendered":"More Drugs in Development"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>With the introduction of Viagra to fix a perennial male problem, a famous British pharmaceutical company is working to re-dress the balance:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>MIRRORCILLIN &#8212; A 5cc dose enables a woman to walk past mirrors for up to four hours without pausing once.<\/li>\n<li>STOPPANAGGIN &#8212; Gives women a vague feeling of contentment towards their spouse\/boyfriend.<\/li>\n<li>COSMOPOLIRA &#8212; Doubles female intelligence to almost simian levels, allowing &#8220;facts&#8221; in trash lifesytle magazines to be disputed.<\/li>\n<li>LOGICON &#8212; Trials showed that females taking this were able to follow a proposition through to its logical conclusion, and argue effectively without being diverted into non-relevant postulates such as &#8220;you dont&#8217;t love me anymore&#8221;.<\/li>\n<li>PARKATRON &#8211;72% of women taking this were able to safely reverse park a Ford Festiva into a space only 12 metres long, 54% achieved this in under 15 minutes.<\/li>\n<li>MAGNATACK &#8212; Uniquely distorts the cornea, making certain shapes appear much larger than in reality &#8211; no practical use for this drug has yet been found.<\/li>\n<li>WARDROBIA &#8212; Clinical trials show that almost 23% of women taking this drug can safely walk past a &#8220;sale&#8221; notice, and an amazing 42% stayed within their credit limit.<\/li>\n<li>BEERINTULIN &#8212; Engenders a females desire to bring her spouse\/boyfriend alcoholic beverages and snacks during televised sports.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>With the introduction of Viagra to fix a perennial male problem, a famous British pharmaceutical company is working to re-dress the balance: MIRRORCILLIN &#8212; A 5cc dose enables a woman to walk past mirrors for up to four hours without pausing once. STOPPANAGGIN &#8212; Gives women a vague feeling of contentment towards their spouse\/boyfriend. COSMOPOLIRA [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[35],"tags":[1063,1155],"class_list":["post-2235","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-medical","tag-new-drugs","tag-pharmaceutical"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2235","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2235"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2235\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2235"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2235"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2235"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}