{"id":2231,"date":"2015-01-06T12:20:33","date_gmt":"2015-01-06T10:20:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2231"},"modified":"2015-01-06T12:20:33","modified_gmt":"2015-01-06T10:20:33","slug":"doctor-doctor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2231","title":{"rendered":"Doctor Doctor"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<p><li>Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I&#8217;m a dog.<br \/>\nDoctor: Sit on the couch and we will talk about it.<br \/>\nBut I&#8217;m not allowed up on the couch!<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Doctor, Doctor You&#8217;ve got to help me &#8211; I just can&#8217;t stop my hands shaking!<br \/>\nDoctor: Do you drink a lot?<br \/>\nNot really &#8211; I spill most of it!<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Doctor, Doctor Have you got something for a bad headache?<br \/>\nDoctor: Of course. Just take this hammer and smash yourself in the head.  Then you&#8217;ll have a bad headache.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I&#8217;m God!<br \/>\nDoctor: When did this start?<br \/>\nWell first I created the sun, then the earth, then the&#8230;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee!<br \/>\nDoctor: Have you ever tried it by taking the spoon out FIRST?<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Doctor, Doctor will this ointment clear up my spots?<br \/>\nDoc: I never make rash promises!<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I&#8217;m a frog!<br \/>\nDoctor: So what&#8217;s wrong with that?<br \/>\nI think I&#8217;m going to croak!<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Doctor, Doctor I feel like a bridge!<br \/>\nDoctor: What&#8217;s come over you?<br \/>\n2 buses, 3 motorbikes and a train.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pack of cards!<br \/>\nDoctor: I&#8217;ll deal with you later.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Doctor, Doctor I feel like a needle!<br \/>\nDoctor: I see your point.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains!<br \/>\nDoctor: Pull yourself together man!<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Doctor, Doctor I have 59 seconds to live!<br \/>\nDoctor: Wait a minute will ya!<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I&#8217;m a dog. Doctor: Sit on the couch and we will talk about it. But I&#8217;m not allowed up on the couch! Doctor, Doctor You&#8217;ve got to help me &#8211; I just can&#8217;t stop my hands shaking! Doctor: Do you drink a lot? Not really &#8211; I spill most of [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[35],"tags":[526,1138],"class_list":["post-2231","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-medical","tag-doctor","tag-patients"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2231","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2231"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2231\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2231"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2231"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2231"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}