{"id":223,"date":"2014-12-21T18:16:03","date_gmt":"2014-12-21T16:16:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=223"},"modified":"2014-12-21T18:16:03","modified_gmt":"2014-12-21T16:16:03","slug":"application-to-live-in-arkansas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=223","title":{"rendered":"Application to Live in Arkansas"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><div align=\"center\">Personal Information<\/div>\n<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Name:<\/li>\n<li>Nickname:<\/li>\n<li>CB Handle:<\/li>\n<li>Address (RFD):<\/li>\n<li>Daddy (if unknown, list 3 suspects):<\/li>\n<li>Neck Shade:<br \/>( ) Light Red<br \/>( ) Medium Red<br \/>( ) Dark Red<br \/>( )  Other<\/li>\n<li>Number of Teeth Exposed in Full Grin:         <br \/>Upper      <br \/>Lower<\/li>\n<li>Make of Pickup:<br \/>Size of Tire:<\/li>\n<li>Hounds:<br \/>Type:<br \/>( ) Blue Tick<br \/>( ) Beagle<br \/>( ) Black &amp; Tan<br \/>( ) Other<\/li>\n<li>Length of Right Leg:<br \/>Length of Left Leg:<\/li>\n<p><li>How Many Cars\/Makes in Front Yard?:<br \/>\nHow Many on Blocks:<\/li>\n<li>How many kitchen appliances on Front Porch:<br \/>on Back Porch:<\/li>\n<li>When and where was your last Elvis sighting:<\/li>\n<li>Do you wear mostly polyester pants with snags?<br \/>( )Yes ( ) No<\/li>\n<li>Do you own any shoes (not boots)?<br \/>( ) Yes ( ) No<\/li>\n<p><li>Are you married to any of the following (circle all that apply)?<br \/>\n  Sister&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Cousin&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Cousin&#8217;s Sister&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Aunt<br \/>Other, explain:<\/li>\n<li>Does your wife weigh more than your pickup?<br \/>( ) Yes   ( ) No<\/li>\n<p><li>Can you sign your own name and always spell it right?<br \/>( ) Yes<br \/>\n    ( ) No<\/li>\n<li>Have you EVER had more than one bath in a week?<br \/>( ) Yes  ( ) No<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><div align=\"center\">Medical Information<\/div>\n<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Do you have at least two of the following?\n<ul>( ) B.O.<br \/>( ) Crabs<br \/>( ) Lice<br \/>( ) Scabies<br \/>( ) Bad Breath<br \/>( ) Fleas<br \/>( ) Tattoos<br \/>( ) Crossed Eyes<br \/>( ) Runny Nose<\/ul>\n<p><\/p>\n<li>Do you have:\n<ul>( ) Green Teeth<br \/>( ) Brown Teeth<br \/>( ) Yellow Teeth<br \/>( ) Any Teeth<br \/>( ) # of teeth missing? <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/ul>\n<p><\/p>\n<div align=\"center\">\n<p>General Information<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Can you count past 10 with your shoes on?<br \/>( ) Yes   ( ) No<\/li>\n<li>Past 21 with your shoes off and fly open?<br \/>( ) Yes   ( ) No<\/li>\n<li>Favorite Weapon:<br \/>( ) Tire Iron<br \/>( ) Pick Handle<br \/>( ) Shotgun<br \/>( ) Log Chain<\/li>\n<li>Favorite Pasttime:<br \/>( ) Drinkin&#8217;<br \/>( ) Coon Huntin&#8217;<br \/>( ) Fishin&#8217;<br \/>( ) Other<\/li>\n<li>Truck Equipped with:<br \/>( ) 8-Track<br \/>( ) Fuzzbuster<br \/>( ) Gun Rack<br \/>( ) Roll Bar<br \/>( ) CB Radio<br \/>( ) Beer Cans<br \/>( ) Squirrel Tail<br \/>( ) Rebel Flag<\/li>\n<li>Favorite Vocalist:<br \/>( ) Willie Nelson<br \/>( ) Johnny Cash<br \/>( ) Elvis<br \/>( ) Conway Twitty<br \/>( ) Loretta Lynn<\/li>\n<li>Cap Emblems:<br \/>( ) Bud<br \/>( ) John Deere<br \/>( ) CAT<br \/>( ) Skoal<br \/>( ) Jack Daniels<\/li>\n<li>Bumper Stickers:<br \/>( ) Honk if you love Jesus<br \/>( ) Old Fart<br \/>( ) Dig Clams<\/li>\n<li>Memberships:<br \/>( ) NRA<br \/>( ) VFW<br \/>( ) KKK<br \/>( ) 700 Club<br \/>( ) BPOE<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Your Signature (one X will do)<br \/>\nDate:<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Personal Information Name: Nickname: CB Handle: Address (RFD): Daddy (if unknown, list 3 suspects): Neck Shade:( ) Light Red( ) Medium Red( ) Dark Red( ) Other Number of Teeth Exposed in Full Grin: Upper Lower Make of Pickup:Size of Tire: Hounds:Type:( ) Blue Tick( ) Beagle( ) Black &amp; Tan( ) Other Length of [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[149,154,667,1239],"class_list":["post-223","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-apps-and-forms","tag-application","tag-arkansas","tag-forms","tag-regional"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/223","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=223"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/223\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=223"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=223"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=223"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}