{"id":2227,"date":"2015-01-06T12:11:59","date_gmt":"2015-01-06T10:11:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2227"},"modified":"2015-01-06T12:11:59","modified_gmt":"2015-01-06T10:11:59","slug":"signs-you-may-be-suffering-from-depression","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2227","title":{"rendered":"Signs You May Be Suffering From Depression"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>You&#8217;ve got enough Prozac in your purse to tranquilize King Kong.<\/li>\n<li>You really lose it whenever someone says, &#8220;Good morning.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>You spend more time in bed than a hooker at a Shriners convention.<\/li>\n<li>You keep your house so dark that mushrooms are growing in the carpet.<\/li>\n<li>Given a choice, you&#8217;d have no preference between sex or a root canal.<\/li>\n<li>On a really bad day, you wouldn&#8217;t come to the door if it was Publishers Clearing House.<\/li>\n<li>You list Dr. Kevorkian as a character reference.<\/li>\n<li>Alcohol gives you strength and food settles your nerves.<\/li>\n<li>Your hands shake so badly that you can brush your teeth without any voluntary movement.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;ve cried so much that your contacts have rusted to your eyeballs.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You&#8217;ve got enough Prozac in your purse to tranquilize King Kong. You really lose it whenever someone says, &#8220;Good morning.&#8221; You spend more time in bed than a hooker at a Shriners convention. You keep your house so dark that mushrooms are growing in the carpet. Given a choice, you&#8217;d have no preference between sex [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[35],"tags":[500],"class_list":["post-2227","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-medical","tag-depression"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2227","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2227"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2227\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2227"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2227"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2227"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}