{"id":2175,"date":"2015-01-06T00:23:14","date_gmt":"2015-01-05T22:23:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2175"},"modified":"2015-01-06T00:23:14","modified_gmt":"2015-01-05T22:23:14","slug":"regulations-for-hunting-attorneys","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2175","title":{"rendered":"Regulations for Hunting Attorneys"},"content":{"rendered":"<p align=\"center\">Bill to Regulate the Hunting and Harvesting of Attorneys PC 370.00<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>370.01 Any person with a valid in-state rodent or snake hunting license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreational and sport (non-commercial) purposes.<\/li>\n<li>370.02 Taking of attorneys with traps or dead-falls is permitted. The use of United States currency as bait, however, is prohibited.<\/li>\n<p><li>370.03 The willful killing of attorneys with a motor vehicle is prohibited, unless such vehicle is an ambulance being driven in reverse. If an attorney is accidentally struck by a motor vehicle, the dead attorney should be removed to the roadside, and<br \/>\nthe vehicle should proceed immediately to the nearest car wash.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<li>370.04 It is unlawful to chase, herd or harvest attorneys from a power boat, helicopter or aircraft.<\/li>\n<li>370.05 It is unlawful to shout, &#8220;WHIPLASH&#8221;, &#8220;AMBULANCE&#8221;, or &#8220;FREE SCOTCH&#8221; for the purposes of trapping attorneys.<\/li>\n<li>370.06 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW, Mercedes or Porsche dealerships, except on Wednesday afternoon.<\/li>\n<li>370.07 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health clubs, country clubs, hospitals or brothels.<\/li>\n<li>370.08 If an attorney gains elective office, it is not necessary to have a license to hunt, trap or possess the same.<\/li>\n<li>370.09 It is unlawful for a hunter to wear a disguise as a reporter, accident victim, physician, chiropractor or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.<\/li>\n<li>370.10  Bag and Possession Limits per day:\n<ul>\n<li>Yellow-bellied sidewinders, 2;<\/li>\n<li>Two-faced tortfeasors, 1;<\/li>\n<li>Back-stabbing divorce litigators, 3;<\/li>\n<li>Horn-rimmed cut-throats, 2;<\/li>\n<li>Minutiae-advocating dirtbags, 4.<\/li>\n<li>Honest attorneys protected (Endangered Species Act).<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<li>ARS 8007.21 It is illegal to take attorneys with a moving vehicle unless there are no measurable skid marks at the kill site.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Bill to Regulate the Hunting and Harvesting of Attorneys PC 370.00 370.01 Any person with a valid in-state rodent or snake hunting license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreational and sport (non-commercial) purposes. 370.02 Taking of attorneys with traps or dead-falls is permitted. The use of United States currency as bait, however, is [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[32],"tags":[164,819,1240],"class_list":["post-2175","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-law","tag-attorneys","tag-hunting","tag-regulations"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2175","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2175"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2175\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2175"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2175"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2175"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}