{"id":2171,"date":"2015-01-06T00:20:37","date_gmt":"2015-01-05T22:20:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2171"},"modified":"2015-01-06T00:20:37","modified_gmt":"2015-01-05T22:20:37","slug":"gator-diet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2171","title":{"rendered":"Gator Diet"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Two alligators are sitting on the edge of a swamp. The small one turns to the big one and says, &#8220;I don&#8217;t understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We&#8217;re the same age, we were the same size as kids.  I just don&#8217;t get it.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Well,&#8221; says the big alligator, &#8220;What have you been eating?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Lawyers, same as you,&#8221; replies the small alligator.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Hm. Well, where do you catch&#8217;em?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Down at that law firm on the edge of the swamp.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Same here. Hm. How do you catch&#8217;em?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Well, I crawl under a BMW and wait for someone to unlock the door. Then I jump out, bite&#8217;em, shake the crap out of &#8217;em, and eat &#8217;em!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Ah!&#8221; says the big alligator, &#8220;I think I see your problem. See, by the time you get done shakin&#8217; the crap out of a lawyer, there&#8217;s nothin&#8217; left but lips and a briefcase.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Two alligators are sitting on the edge of a swamp. The small one turns to the big one and says, &#8220;I don&#8217;t understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We&#8217;re the same age, we were the same size as kids. I just don&#8217;t get it.&#8221; &#8220;Well,&#8221; says the big alligator, &#8220;What have [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[32],"tags":[129,747],"class_list":["post-2171","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-law","tag-alligators","tag-growing-up"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2171","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2171"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2171\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2171"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2171"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2171"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}